I love how God works - actually I can acknowledge loving how God works more in hindsight. Often times in the midst of His working I feel like. . . .well, like I don't love it so much! But regardless, He is at work in all of our lives.
My word for this year as many of you know is delight. Delighted in God, delightful towards others, finding delight in the everyday ordinary of life, etc.
In this process I am trying to be more aware of God and how He longs to be a part of my life, minute by minute, day by day. I have heard my whole Christian life about how important relationship is with God and I feel as though I am just lately grasping that. Yes, I am a slow learner at times.
I long to be with Mark, to talk to him, to sit with him, to be silly with him, etc. Why? Because I love him and I want our relationship to be strong. I also argue with Mark, ask for forgiveness from Mark, and get frustrated with Mark. Why? Because I am human, imperfect and I make mistakes, but try to make up for those mistakes too.
Why not take those same simple principles of my relationship with Mark and apply them to my relationship with God? I realize to many of you this is not profound. Again, I am not a quick learner at times.
And yet I realize for myself that this simple thing is hard at times. It is hard to change your mindset from God being everywhere and everything to everyone to being God who is with me, for me, about me always.
In this process of involving God in my everyday ordinary, I have begun to recognize His handiwork in so many ways. As I have mentioned here, Mark and I are working to get debt free and stick to a budget that allows us to do that.
I had a lunch meeting yesterday that I needed to be at, but did not have the money in the budget for - ugh. So, I went through some stuff in our storage closet and found a few things to sell at a resale store in town. Thank God - and I truly was thankful for God providing in this way.
Well, I went to my meeting, enjoyed lunch and someone else at the table picked up the tab! Yay! I was even more thankful for God providing in this way!! So, I took the money from the items I had sold and deposited it in the bank. . . guess God wanted that money to go towards debt!
Also while going through the boxes in storage, I came across a gift card to McDonald's for $10. Mark & I have stopped eating out at lunch and so I thought, "Yay, a lunch date where we can eat something other than PB & J!" So, Mark & I made plans to go out to McD's for lunch today.
This morning I remembered that at an event for Big Brother, Big Sister we had each received a coupon for a free large sandwich at McDonald's - so I looked through my purse and there they were! So, we got 2 free sandwiches, fries and 2 drinks for $4. . . and can go to McD's another day with the other $6 on the gift card.
Now, would these things not have happened if I hadn't been aware and involving God in my everyday ordinary? Probably. Maybe not though. But would I have recognized them as God's handiwork and given Him praise for them? No.
God opens doors and windows for us all the time. We are His children and He loves us. I also think He wants us to acknowledge Him in those little things too. In the same way I love to hear my 2 year old thank me for dinner; even though I would give him dinner even if he didn't, God love to hear his kids thank Him for things He does; even though He would do it anyway. *Whew, grammatically that may be the worst sentence ever, but you get my point, right?
How have you seen God in the little (and big) areas of your life?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Winner!!!
We have a winner!! I went to random.org and entered the number of entrants - and Amber is the big winner!!! Congrats! I will email you a time to drop off your prize - thanks everyone for playing!
In other news, I am super excited that our kids slept through the night last night. I am also more sure than ever that they conspire against us on the nights they get up (like last night). Seriously, it seems to be so well planned so that Mark & I get no sleep, it's borderline ridiculous.
But, I am focusing on being thankful that they slept! Whoo Hoo! What are you thankful for?
**I have not forgotten about posting a picture of one of my many hair disasters. . . .but that will come later today. . . . so be sure to check back!**
In other news, I am super excited that our kids slept through the night last night. I am also more sure than ever that they conspire against us on the nights they get up (like last night). Seriously, it seems to be so well planned so that Mark & I get no sleep, it's borderline ridiculous.
But, I am focusing on being thankful that they slept! Whoo Hoo! What are you thankful for?
**I have not forgotten about posting a picture of one of my many hair disasters. . . .but that will come later today. . . . so be sure to check back!**
Monday, March 28, 2011
I am so offended
I remember when I was a teenager, hearing a man talk about how he felt he was being drawn to God. He had a new desire to learn more about God, to learn what faith in Him was.
This man said he was invited to church by a friend and the preacher at this church was the exact type of Christian that had driven this man away from church, faith and God. He was loud, flamboyant, waved his arms around and shouted, "Hallelujah!" every other word it seemed. This man decided after attending one service that he would not be back to this church and maybe he should rethink this desire for God.
Funniest thing though. . . he was drawn back to hear this man preach a week or so later. He couldn't explain what drew him to go again. . . he just knew he had to be there. This preacher did all the same offensive things and the man sat in his chair growing more and more frustrated and annoyed.
"Why would God, if there is a God, use this man who so obviously annoys me? Does God not want me?"
But as this preacher continued to speak, God softened the heart of this man. He opened his ears to hear what God was saying through this man, regardless of the style of delivery. This man ended up coming to a faith in Christ through this preacher.
Here is what gets me about this story. The man, who is now a pastor himself, still dislikes the style of preaching that is loud, flamboyant, and "Hallelujahs" every other word. He even admitted that he still has a hard time listening to the preacher who led him to Christ preach. He would rather do many things than listen to someone like that.
But, he said (and I am paraphrasing), "I learned to be open to whatever God has for me, regardless of the form or vessel it comes in. I have learned that I can be offended by someone or something and God can and will still use that."
I have thought of this so often over the years and again recently as I have been in some situations where I am just put off by someone's remarks, attitude or style. I remind myself that God is still God and he uses any willing vessel (even the annoying ones) to accomplish His purpose. My job is to be open and willing to listen.
This man said he was invited to church by a friend and the preacher at this church was the exact type of Christian that had driven this man away from church, faith and God. He was loud, flamboyant, waved his arms around and shouted, "Hallelujah!" every other word it seemed. This man decided after attending one service that he would not be back to this church and maybe he should rethink this desire for God.
Funniest thing though. . . he was drawn back to hear this man preach a week or so later. He couldn't explain what drew him to go again. . . he just knew he had to be there. This preacher did all the same offensive things and the man sat in his chair growing more and more frustrated and annoyed.
"Why would God, if there is a God, use this man who so obviously annoys me? Does God not want me?"
But as this preacher continued to speak, God softened the heart of this man. He opened his ears to hear what God was saying through this man, regardless of the style of delivery. This man ended up coming to a faith in Christ through this preacher.
Here is what gets me about this story. The man, who is now a pastor himself, still dislikes the style of preaching that is loud, flamboyant, and "Hallelujahs" every other word. He even admitted that he still has a hard time listening to the preacher who led him to Christ preach. He would rather do many things than listen to someone like that.
But, he said (and I am paraphrasing), "I learned to be open to whatever God has for me, regardless of the form or vessel it comes in. I have learned that I can be offended by someone or something and God can and will still use that."
I have thought of this so often over the years and again recently as I have been in some situations where I am just put off by someone's remarks, attitude or style. I remind myself that God is still God and he uses any willing vessel (even the annoying ones) to accomplish His purpose. My job is to be open and willing to listen.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Giveaway time!
I am jumping on the blog wagon and doing a giveaway! I have never won any of the giveaways that I have entered, but I still think they are fun (especially PW's)!
So my giveaway is one set (2) of Sakura Votive Holders from PartyLite!
Cherry blossoms symbolize peace, which makes the Sakura Votive Holder a vital accent for any home. A stylish etched cherry blossom pattern laces a glass votive cup, producing a dazzling glow. (3" high)
How to win:
In the comments of this blog, tell me about your worst hair disaster! We have all been there. . . and I have many many photos of my many many disasters! I promise to post a pic of myself when I announce the winner. If you are one of the few (if any) who have never experienced a hair disaster (or are just too embarrassed), tell me your favorite color.
I will leave this giveaway open until Monday at 5pm and then announce the winner Tuesday, March 29. I will use random.org to choose the winner.
Votive holders will be shipped (or delivered if you live in town) at my expense.
Tell your friends, family, co-workers, etc. - the more the merrier!
So my giveaway is one set (2) of Sakura Votive Holders from PartyLite!
Cherry blossoms symbolize peace, which makes the Sakura Votive Holder a vital accent for any home. A stylish etched cherry blossom pattern laces a glass votive cup, producing a dazzling glow. (3" high)
How to win:
In the comments of this blog, tell me about your worst hair disaster! We have all been there. . . and I have many many photos of my many many disasters! I promise to post a pic of myself when I announce the winner. If you are one of the few (if any) who have never experienced a hair disaster (or are just too embarrassed), tell me your favorite color.
I will leave this giveaway open until Monday at 5pm and then announce the winner Tuesday, March 29. I will use random.org to choose the winner.
Votive holders will be shipped (or delivered if you live in town) at my expense.
Tell your friends, family, co-workers, etc. - the more the merrier!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Say what?
"What's up chicken butt?"
For the last few weeks I have had this really obnoxious phrase stuck in my head. I honestly don't even know where it came from. I think I can blame it on my good friend Deanna for starting it. . . .or maybe it was my good friend Christina. . . . but really as long as I can blame its origination on someone other than me, it's all good.
Seriously, I know it's immature, doesn't make a lot of sense and all that, but I crack up every time I think about it! I think we used to use it as a greeting in high school/college - yes we were that cool.
For the last few weeks I have had this really obnoxious phrase stuck in my head. I honestly don't even know where it came from. I think I can blame it on my good friend Deanna for starting it. . . .or maybe it was my good friend Christina. . . . but really as long as I can blame its origination on someone other than me, it's all good.
Seriously, I know it's immature, doesn't make a lot of sense and all that, but I crack up every time I think about it! I think we used to use it as a greeting in high school/college - yes we were that cool.
Phrases and sayings are kind of like scents or music. They can bring you back to a certain time in your life, or bring up certain emotions and thoughts.
In Bible college (yes I went to Bible college) I had a professor who used to say "Bless God!" in this crazy, southern Baptist type voice - he would also say, "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall be flexed!" Whenever I think of those phrases (usually at times of stress), I am reminded of this man of God and how he seemed to take everything in stride and with a touch of humor.
There are tons of other phrases and sayings, but my mind is overflowing with other stuff at the moment, so instead I want to hear from you. What are some phrases that bring you back in time? Or just phrases that you love or hate?
**Update** My reference to "crazy southern Baptist voice" had nothing to do with the Baptist (or southern Baptist) denomination or people who go to a Baptist church. . . . just what pops into my mind when I think of my professor!
There are tons of other phrases and sayings, but my mind is overflowing with other stuff at the moment, so instead I want to hear from you. What are some phrases that bring you back in time? Or just phrases that you love or hate?
**Update** My reference to "crazy southern Baptist voice" had nothing to do with the Baptist (or southern Baptist) denomination or people who go to a Baptist church. . . . just what pops into my mind when I think of my professor!
Monday, March 21, 2011
A weekend in review
Whew! Monday already? This past weekend was the type where when I get to work on Monday, it is almost like having a break! At least for the first few minutes!
We had a busy weekend, but at the same time it was one of the best weekends.
Friday night started with a "date night" for Mark & I. We had to miss last Wednesday's Financial Peace University because our babysitter had to go out of town at the last minute. Thankfully, we get one free lesson on Dave Ramsey's website, so Friday night my mom watched the kids and we went to my parents house to watch Lesson 3 of FPU.
This lesson is the nuts and bolts of FPU - the budget (cue horror movie music).
Mark & I have tried to create a budget for the last year, if not longer. We create one, then life happens and bam, budget gone. Or we create one and then a pair of shoes, latte, tool, etc. comes calling and we just have to have it.
I have heard people question the cost of FPU (it is usually $100 for the course). I myself questioned it before hearing people I knew go through the course and witness their lives transformed. For me, learning to budget, realistically budget, is worth every last penny of the $100. Budgeting has been a struggle for me personally all my life and that has carried into married life as well.
So, back to this weekend. Mark & I watched Lesson 3 on Friday night and then planned to pound out the budget on Saturday night after the kids went to bed.
Saturday morning brought us swimming lessons, playtime, lunch and naps for EVERYONE (whoo hoo!). Saturday late afternoon, my brother brought his boys (ages 5 & 8) over for a sleepover.
Any thought I may have once had (prior to having any kids) to have 4 kids. . . yeah, long gone!!! And all the kids were pretty well behaved, but oh man, it was a lot of work! But we played and built towers with Lego's, ate supper, had ice cream, watched a little bit of a movie and then tried to get all 4 kids to bed at the same time. Whew!
By this time we got settled into our room to start the budget I was weary, but ready to tackle the budget! And that enthusiasm lasted until we started to figure out really how much money we had vs. what we wanted!
It was tough but after about an hour, we had it down. DR advice is to use a zero based budget - give every dollar a name before the month begins. This is a challenge - especially for those of us who tend to use the guessing game for budgeting (I know we aren't the only ones out there going, now what do we pay when??). But thankfully with the help of online bank statements, finding old paid bills in the stack of unorganized mess we call a filing system, we did it!
After falling asleep Saturday night, we were woken up once by EVERY. SINGLE. CHILD. Riley (8) got up to use the bathroom and accidentally came in our room instead. Isaac fell out of his bed while attempting to get out to use the bathroom. Jake (5) came in our room at 4:45am to see if it was time to watch cartoons yet. Piper woke up at 5:00am just because. Yeah, we were not loving it very much, but I guess that is to be expected.
Sunday morning we were MIA from church due to the above reasons. Yes, it's an excuse. . . and a mighty good one I think. We made pancakes and eggs for the kids and a large pot of coffee for me. After my nephews left, we had a wonderful morning of relaxing, playing, just hanging out in our PJ's. After lunch, we all napped (whoo hoo again!) and we all must have needed it because everyone slept for at least two hours! This rarely happens in our house anymore, so it was a extra special treat! We then finally watched the end of Happy Feet. Mark & I always laugh because we see about the first 20 minutes of movies about 100 times before we convince Isaac to let the whole movie play through.
The rest of Sunday was spent with more playing, running a couple errands, supper, bath time and bed. Then, (cue horror music again) it was time to tackle part 2 of the budget. The allocated spending plan. This is were you go into great detail about what bills will be paid what week with what income.
Back to the allocated spending plan. After another hour, with only a few tense moments (Mark may have been annoyed about how I am the nerd of the group and I like things written out a certain way), we had it finished. Tired and overwhelmed as I was, I. FELT. AMAZING!
Having this first step of control in our finances is amazing to me. No, we are not rich, and no, we are not out of the woods yet and yes, we still have a ways to go to reach our goals, but oh my goodness, there is such freedom in telling your money where to go.
DR says that the first month of trying to stick to the budget is tough, second month a little better and the third month is better yet. I am prepared to have many "emergency budget meetings" this month as life happens, but the fact that we have started this portion of our journey is so encouraging to me.
All in all a wonderful weekend, full of everyday life and the trials it brings.
What was your weekend full of? (and yes I know, ending a sentence with a preposition is a no-no. . . )
We had a busy weekend, but at the same time it was one of the best weekends.
Friday night started with a "date night" for Mark & I. We had to miss last Wednesday's Financial Peace University because our babysitter had to go out of town at the last minute. Thankfully, we get one free lesson on Dave Ramsey's website, so Friday night my mom watched the kids and we went to my parents house to watch Lesson 3 of FPU.
This lesson is the nuts and bolts of FPU - the budget (cue horror movie music).
Mark & I have tried to create a budget for the last year, if not longer. We create one, then life happens and bam, budget gone. Or we create one and then a pair of shoes, latte, tool, etc. comes calling and we just have to have it.
I have heard people question the cost of FPU (it is usually $100 for the course). I myself questioned it before hearing people I knew go through the course and witness their lives transformed. For me, learning to budget, realistically budget, is worth every last penny of the $100. Budgeting has been a struggle for me personally all my life and that has carried into married life as well.
So, back to this weekend. Mark & I watched Lesson 3 on Friday night and then planned to pound out the budget on Saturday night after the kids went to bed.
Saturday morning brought us swimming lessons, playtime, lunch and naps for EVERYONE (whoo hoo!). Saturday late afternoon, my brother brought his boys (ages 5 & 8) over for a sleepover.
Any thought I may have once had (prior to having any kids) to have 4 kids. . . yeah, long gone!!! And all the kids were pretty well behaved, but oh man, it was a lot of work! But we played and built towers with Lego's, ate supper, had ice cream, watched a little bit of a movie and then tried to get all 4 kids to bed at the same time. Whew!
By this time we got settled into our room to start the budget I was weary, but ready to tackle the budget! And that enthusiasm lasted until we started to figure out really how much money we had vs. what we wanted!
It was tough but after about an hour, we had it down. DR advice is to use a zero based budget - give every dollar a name before the month begins. This is a challenge - especially for those of us who tend to use the guessing game for budgeting (I know we aren't the only ones out there going, now what do we pay when??). But thankfully with the help of online bank statements, finding old paid bills in the stack of unorganized mess we call a filing system, we did it!
After falling asleep Saturday night, we were woken up once by EVERY. SINGLE. CHILD. Riley (8) got up to use the bathroom and accidentally came in our room instead. Isaac fell out of his bed while attempting to get out to use the bathroom. Jake (5) came in our room at 4:45am to see if it was time to watch cartoons yet. Piper woke up at 5:00am just because. Yeah, we were not loving it very much, but I guess that is to be expected.
Sunday morning we were MIA from church due to the above reasons. Yes, it's an excuse. . . and a mighty good one I think. We made pancakes and eggs for the kids and a large pot of coffee for me. After my nephews left, we had a wonderful morning of relaxing, playing, just hanging out in our PJ's. After lunch, we all napped (whoo hoo again!) and we all must have needed it because everyone slept for at least two hours! This rarely happens in our house anymore, so it was a extra special treat! We then finally watched the end of Happy Feet. Mark & I always laugh because we see about the first 20 minutes of movies about 100 times before we convince Isaac to let the whole movie play through.
The rest of Sunday was spent with more playing, running a couple errands, supper, bath time and bed. Then, (cue horror music again) it was time to tackle part 2 of the budget. The allocated spending plan. This is were you go into great detail about what bills will be paid what week with what income.
Note: For all of you out there who have never struggled with managing your finances, I can about imagine your thought process right now. It may go something like this, "How can these people be adults and not have any idea how to manage money? What is so difficult about this? How have they survived all these years?" For you people, well, I don't have a good answer. All I can say is we are learning it now and better late than never, right? It is humbling, very humbling.
For those of you who struggle like us - WELCOME TO THE CLUB! One of the encouraging things about taking FPU with a group is that you realize that you are not alone. It is so freeing to be able to look at people at all different walks of life and income levels and be able to all say that we are in the same boat together. Granted, without taking the class that boat is quickly sinking, but for us this class is a lifesaver. Enough metaphors for you?
Back to the allocated spending plan. After another hour, with only a few tense moments (Mark may have been annoyed about how I am the nerd of the group and I like things written out a certain way), we had it finished. Tired and overwhelmed as I was, I. FELT. AMAZING!
Having this first step of control in our finances is amazing to me. No, we are not rich, and no, we are not out of the woods yet and yes, we still have a ways to go to reach our goals, but oh my goodness, there is such freedom in telling your money where to go.
DR says that the first month of trying to stick to the budget is tough, second month a little better and the third month is better yet. I am prepared to have many "emergency budget meetings" this month as life happens, but the fact that we have started this portion of our journey is so encouraging to me.
All in all a wonderful weekend, full of everyday life and the trials it brings.
What was your weekend full of? (and yes I know, ending a sentence with a preposition is a no-no. . . )
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Financial Peace
Mark and I have dreams and goals for our lives and the lives of our kids. There are certain things we want to accomplish or be a part of that we are unable to right now due to one little itsy bitsy word.
Debt.
I wish that I could say that our level of debt is in direct relation to the size of the word, but it is more like this in our lives right now.
DEBT.
We have lived life like a lot if not most Americans. We have bought what we could afford the payments on, not what we could afford.
We decided a few months back that we need to get things on track and get out of debt. To help us do this, Mark & I have started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We know both family and friends who have taken this course and we have seen the results. We have also heard that this is not a quick fix (darn).
We are in week 3 - since we have started, we have cut up all our credit cards (kind of a freeing and scary feeling at the same time), created a simple budget, and prayed for wisdom in our financial decisions from here on out.
Also since we have started, I have never been more tempted to stop and get a latte on my way to work or go shopping for a cute pair of sandals for spring. I look at my purse and think I should really get a new one becuase this one has a thread hanging from it. I notice that there are all these great new eyeshadow colors in the make-up aisle at Walmart. I think steaks on the grill sound great when before mac & cheese was fine by me.
My immediate thought usually after all of these temptations is that I deserve it. I deserve that coffee because I was up with the kids and I'm tired. I deserve the shoes because they make me feel good about the way I look. I deserve a new purse because a lot of my friends have purses for every outfit. You get the picture.
Last week, in class Dave told a story of a single mom who stopped him after a conference. She told him that she had created her budget, she was working 2 jobs to cover all the bills and although it was tight, she was making it. Then one day on her way to bring the kids to daycare, it was pouring rain and she got a flat tire. So she had to get out in the rain and change it, all the while being splashed by cars going by. She got to work late because of this and got yelled at by her boss. She had to work late to cover for being late and so she was late to pick up the kids from daycare and she got penalized for that. On the way home, the kids were begging and pleading for "McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's!" This mom, being tired and frustrated gave in because she felt she deserved a break after her horrible day. So she pulled into the McDonald's drive through and bought some Happy Meals (with money marked for another expense) and went home. This single mom told Dave, "That trip to McDonald's cost me $159 in bounced check fees."
Dave went on to say that we don't 'deserve' to treat ourselves when we are the ones to get ourselves into these messes. By budgeting, you give all your money a name and if you don't have money for an area, whether its eating out, going to movies, buying new shoes or makeup, you don't do it!!
Hard to shallow, but good for me to hear. I still get tempted, but I keep thinking of the plans that we have and the plans that God has for us (Jeremiah 29:11-12) and it helps keep me motivated.
So does one of Dave's famous phrases (paraphrased):
"Live now like no one else, so someday you can live like no one else!"
Debt.
I wish that I could say that our level of debt is in direct relation to the size of the word, but it is more like this in our lives right now.
DEBT.
We have lived life like a lot if not most Americans. We have bought what we could afford the payments on, not what we could afford.
We decided a few months back that we need to get things on track and get out of debt. To help us do this, Mark & I have started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We know both family and friends who have taken this course and we have seen the results. We have also heard that this is not a quick fix (darn).
We are in week 3 - since we have started, we have cut up all our credit cards (kind of a freeing and scary feeling at the same time), created a simple budget, and prayed for wisdom in our financial decisions from here on out.
Also since we have started, I have never been more tempted to stop and get a latte on my way to work or go shopping for a cute pair of sandals for spring. I look at my purse and think I should really get a new one becuase this one has a thread hanging from it. I notice that there are all these great new eyeshadow colors in the make-up aisle at Walmart. I think steaks on the grill sound great when before mac & cheese was fine by me.
My immediate thought usually after all of these temptations is that I deserve it. I deserve that coffee because I was up with the kids and I'm tired. I deserve the shoes because they make me feel good about the way I look. I deserve a new purse because a lot of my friends have purses for every outfit. You get the picture.
Last week, in class Dave told a story of a single mom who stopped him after a conference. She told him that she had created her budget, she was working 2 jobs to cover all the bills and although it was tight, she was making it. Then one day on her way to bring the kids to daycare, it was pouring rain and she got a flat tire. So she had to get out in the rain and change it, all the while being splashed by cars going by. She got to work late because of this and got yelled at by her boss. She had to work late to cover for being late and so she was late to pick up the kids from daycare and she got penalized for that. On the way home, the kids were begging and pleading for "McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's!" This mom, being tired and frustrated gave in because she felt she deserved a break after her horrible day. So she pulled into the McDonald's drive through and bought some Happy Meals (with money marked for another expense) and went home. This single mom told Dave, "That trip to McDonald's cost me $159 in bounced check fees."
Dave went on to say that we don't 'deserve' to treat ourselves when we are the ones to get ourselves into these messes. By budgeting, you give all your money a name and if you don't have money for an area, whether its eating out, going to movies, buying new shoes or makeup, you don't do it!!
Hard to shallow, but good for me to hear. I still get tempted, but I keep thinking of the plans that we have and the plans that God has for us (Jeremiah 29:11-12) and it helps keep me motivated.
So does one of Dave's famous phrases (paraphrased):
"Live now like no one else, so someday you can live like no one else!"
Monday, March 14, 2011
Arguments and a rubber ducky
Conflict in marriage in normal and healthy. If you never had conflict, well. . . I would say you are a liar. But, as Mark & I have learned (and continue to learn) it is how you resolve the conflict that matters.
We recently read the book Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Resolving Conflict Without Arguing with our mentor couple. Mark & I don't have all out screaming matches - we are the sarcastic, snotty comments type of people.
Overall the book is really good - there were a few cheesy parts that we all agreed we would NEVER do. One example, wear a sign around your neck that says, "I am listening" - yeah, no thanks. But the point is that you need to really listen and take in what your partner is saying instead of just formulating your response the whole time they are talking. I of course have never done that.
We have definitely gotten better at resolving conflict, but we still have times of weakness.
The other night we were giving the kids a bath. Bath time is always crazy because, well we are trying to give 2 toddlers a bath! I honestly don't even remember what we were fighting about (yes, brownie points for fighting in front of the kids), but it was getting as heated as our arguments get. The tension in the bathroom was thick. I was getting ready to rinse Piper off, so Mark was holding her as she stood in the tub and the next thing we know she was sticking her legs out in front of her. Picture an Olympic gymnast on the rings with their arms straight down and legs straight out in front. That is exactly what she was doing. It was the oddest looking thing you have ever seen and she was giggling. Mark's arms are on fire because our little girl, well she is not so little, but he starts laughing and I start laughing and then the kids start laughing.
It was in that moment that I think both Mark & I realized that whatever it was we were arguing about was ridiculous and not worth the time or effort. We got the kids out of the tub, put to bed and went on to have a really nice evening.
I say all this to say that I am so thankful for being able to find humor in the midst of everyday life. I am so thankful for the grace God gives us when we make such silly, selfish choices. I love my husband more everyday because we can laugh together and forgive each other in the midst of our shortcomings.
We recently read the book Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Resolving Conflict Without Arguing with our mentor couple. Mark & I don't have all out screaming matches - we are the sarcastic, snotty comments type of people.
Overall the book is really good - there were a few cheesy parts that we all agreed we would NEVER do. One example, wear a sign around your neck that says, "I am listening" - yeah, no thanks. But the point is that you need to really listen and take in what your partner is saying instead of just formulating your response the whole time they are talking. I of course have never done that.
We have definitely gotten better at resolving conflict, but we still have times of weakness.
The other night we were giving the kids a bath. Bath time is always crazy because, well we are trying to give 2 toddlers a bath! I honestly don't even remember what we were fighting about (yes, brownie points for fighting in front of the kids), but it was getting as heated as our arguments get. The tension in the bathroom was thick. I was getting ready to rinse Piper off, so Mark was holding her as she stood in the tub and the next thing we know she was sticking her legs out in front of her. Picture an Olympic gymnast on the rings with their arms straight down and legs straight out in front. That is exactly what she was doing. It was the oddest looking thing you have ever seen and she was giggling. Mark's arms are on fire because our little girl, well she is not so little, but he starts laughing and I start laughing and then the kids start laughing.
It was in that moment that I think both Mark & I realized that whatever it was we were arguing about was ridiculous and not worth the time or effort. We got the kids out of the tub, put to bed and went on to have a really nice evening.
I say all this to say that I am so thankful for being able to find humor in the midst of everyday life. I am so thankful for the grace God gives us when we make such silly, selfish choices. I love my husband more everyday because we can laugh together and forgive each other in the midst of our shortcomings.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
10 Things I Like More Than. . . .
. . .Going To The Dentist:
10) Bra shopping. Ladies, enough said.
9) Having my picture taken. For those who know me. . . yeah, enough said.
8) Riding in a cargo van squished between 2 smelly people for 10+ hours.
7) Packing.
6) Unpacking.
5) Long car rides with my children. For those who know my children. . . you understand what I am saying.
4) Cleaning the toy room.
3) Cleaning the van.
2) Cleaning the bathroom.
1) Cleaning. . . . in general (you had to know this was coming after the last 3). Again, for those who know me and maybe more importantly, for those who have stopped by unannounced you know how true this is.
I went to the dentist today.
Who, for the sake of fairness, is the nicest lady in the world and her hygienists are super sweet and professional.
BUT - it was still the dentist. And I have a high gag reflex and horror stories in my memory from going to the dentist, so it is not a great experience for me.
It has honestly gotten better in the last few years since going to our current dentist, but still not an appointment I look forward too. If any little thing comes up to give me an excuse to reschedule my appointment (like. . . a sale anywhere, the sky looking too gray, bad hair day, etc.) I will do so.
My memories of going to the dentist are just a few. I did my standard twice a year cleaning, but my memories are centered around two events.
I hated sitting in the waiting room and hearing that suction thing. You know the one they ask you to close your mouth around to suck out all the saliva, water, your soul? That sound to this day makes me nauseous. I would rather change 1000 nasty poopy diapers than listen to that sound, much less have it IN MY MOUTH! I gag like crazy.
My second memory is of having fluoride treatment. I remember as a child waiting and wishing to turn 16. Not so I could date or get my driver's license. But so that I no longer would have to get fluoride treatment. In my mind it is a dentist's way to torture you for having bad breath, not flossing morning and night (seriously, what child does that?) and not brushing after every meal (again, who does this?).
But the worst part of this treatment was the flavors. I would love to meet the genius who said, "Hmm, let's take this horrible paste, with its horrible texture, that we put in this Styrofoam tray and make it bubble gum or strawberry flavored (or whatever other disgusting flavor they could think of) and ruin those flavors for a child for life."
Apparently when I was 13 or 14 my mind/body gave up the fight against the gag reflex and I threw up while having those awful trays in my mouth. Sound disgusting? Try being there. After that the dentist said I didn't have to have fluoride treatment anymore. Apparently they have a limit for how much they can endure as well.
So because of these experiences, I am a dentist's worst nightmare as a patient. I ask to not close my mouth around the suction thing and I ask for mint toothpaste for when they polish my teeth (again, what is with the fruit flavors). I grimace and try to think of my happy place as they are cleaning my teeth.
I tip my hat to my dentist - she is patient with me, understanding and even laughs at my stories (but who wouldn't, right?). I finally told her one time that although I still dislike going to the dentist, I really like coming to see her.
Feel free to share your horror stories - and yes, I know I'm crazy.
10) Bra shopping. Ladies, enough said.
9) Having my picture taken. For those who know me. . . yeah, enough said.
8) Riding in a cargo van squished between 2 smelly people for 10+ hours.
7) Packing.
6) Unpacking.
5) Long car rides with my children. For those who know my children. . . you understand what I am saying.
4) Cleaning the toy room.
3) Cleaning the van.
2) Cleaning the bathroom.
1) Cleaning. . . . in general (you had to know this was coming after the last 3). Again, for those who know me and maybe more importantly, for those who have stopped by unannounced you know how true this is.
I went to the dentist today.
Who, for the sake of fairness, is the nicest lady in the world and her hygienists are super sweet and professional.
BUT - it was still the dentist. And I have a high gag reflex and horror stories in my memory from going to the dentist, so it is not a great experience for me.
It has honestly gotten better in the last few years since going to our current dentist, but still not an appointment I look forward too. If any little thing comes up to give me an excuse to reschedule my appointment (like. . . a sale anywhere, the sky looking too gray, bad hair day, etc.) I will do so.
My memories of going to the dentist are just a few. I did my standard twice a year cleaning, but my memories are centered around two events.
I hated sitting in the waiting room and hearing that suction thing. You know the one they ask you to close your mouth around to suck out all the saliva, water, your soul? That sound to this day makes me nauseous. I would rather change 1000 nasty poopy diapers than listen to that sound, much less have it IN MY MOUTH! I gag like crazy.
My second memory is of having fluoride treatment. I remember as a child waiting and wishing to turn 16. Not so I could date or get my driver's license. But so that I no longer would have to get fluoride treatment. In my mind it is a dentist's way to torture you for having bad breath, not flossing morning and night (seriously, what child does that?) and not brushing after every meal (again, who does this?).
But the worst part of this treatment was the flavors. I would love to meet the genius who said, "Hmm, let's take this horrible paste, with its horrible texture, that we put in this Styrofoam tray and make it bubble gum or strawberry flavored (or whatever other disgusting flavor they could think of) and ruin those flavors for a child for life."
Apparently when I was 13 or 14 my mind/body gave up the fight against the gag reflex and I threw up while having those awful trays in my mouth. Sound disgusting? Try being there. After that the dentist said I didn't have to have fluoride treatment anymore. Apparently they have a limit for how much they can endure as well.
So because of these experiences, I am a dentist's worst nightmare as a patient. I ask to not close my mouth around the suction thing and I ask for mint toothpaste for when they polish my teeth (again, what is with the fruit flavors). I grimace and try to think of my happy place as they are cleaning my teeth.
I tip my hat to my dentist - she is patient with me, understanding and even laughs at my stories (but who wouldn't, right?). I finally told her one time that although I still dislike going to the dentist, I really like coming to see her.
Feel free to share your horror stories - and yes, I know I'm crazy.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Out of the mouths of babes
I was raised in a Christian home where my parents showed their faith in very obvious ways like taking us to church, praying before a meal, saying prayers with us kids before bed, etc.
But they also gave examples of their faith in less obvious ways. I remember waking up too early some mornings and hearing my parents praying together. I remember my dad telling a story about how he got upset with someone at work and had to go back and apologize.
I remember the year we went to public school for the 1st time (otherwise K-8th was at a christian school) and my mom would do devotions with my sister and I each morning before school. Now these were not the most spiritual times for a 9 and 11 year old - my mom had a habit of falling asleep while praying. You see she had just gotten off of a 12 hour night shift. My sister and I would be as quiet as we could be as my mom started to pray and soon she would be dozing off. . . .we off course being the mature girls we were, would hold in our laughter for about. . . . . 30 seconds. Then we would wake up my mom, who would smile, laugh and say, "Oh did I fall asleep again?!" and we would start prayers over.
Most of all I remember prayer being something that was a regular, normal, everyday part of our lives as kids. My parents would pray for us when we were hurt (physically or emotionally), they would pray for us for an upcoming test or sporting event. We would pray in the car (eyes open of course!), we would pray at home, at school, etc. And no we were not those weird Christians. . . my parents were (and are) just very sincere in their faith and their belief in God who hears and answers prayer.
This legacy is one I hope to pass on to our kids. We pray with the kids each night and are getting better at remembering to pray at meals - which Isaac loves because we sing "Johnny Apple Seed" as loud as possible and he is so sincere and earnest in this prayer.
I have also started praying for the kids whenever they get an owie or say something hurts. I keep it simple. Isaac says, "My head hurts." I say, "Should Mommy pray for you?" He says, "Yes." I then pray something to the effect of, "Dear Jesus, I pray for Isaac's head that it wouldn't hurt anymore. I pray that You would heal him and he would have a wonderful day. In Jesus' name, Amen."
I keep it simple for a few reasons. One, I am not an eloquent person - I say what I mean or at least try to and usually it comes out sounding pretty, well, simple. Just my nature. Secondly, I want Isaac and Piper to know that they can talk to Jesus whenever, wherever, and they can talk to Him like they talk to a friend or Mommy & Daddy.
The other night, I was not feeling the best - my back among other things really hurt. In the past when Isaac hears that my back hurts he comes over and rubs it till I say it feels better (melt my heart). But the other night when I told him my back hurt, he started to pray for me. It sounded something like this:
"Dear Jesus, asdfkjksdjf Mommy's back aklsdjfkj have good akjdasdjkf better, Jesus name AMEN!"
I have never heard or been as blessed by a prayer in my entire life.
But they also gave examples of their faith in less obvious ways. I remember waking up too early some mornings and hearing my parents praying together. I remember my dad telling a story about how he got upset with someone at work and had to go back and apologize.
I remember the year we went to public school for the 1st time (otherwise K-8th was at a christian school) and my mom would do devotions with my sister and I each morning before school. Now these were not the most spiritual times for a 9 and 11 year old - my mom had a habit of falling asleep while praying. You see she had just gotten off of a 12 hour night shift. My sister and I would be as quiet as we could be as my mom started to pray and soon she would be dozing off. . . .we off course being the mature girls we were, would hold in our laughter for about. . . . . 30 seconds. Then we would wake up my mom, who would smile, laugh and say, "Oh did I fall asleep again?!" and we would start prayers over.
Most of all I remember prayer being something that was a regular, normal, everyday part of our lives as kids. My parents would pray for us when we were hurt (physically or emotionally), they would pray for us for an upcoming test or sporting event. We would pray in the car (eyes open of course!), we would pray at home, at school, etc. And no we were not those weird Christians. . . my parents were (and are) just very sincere in their faith and their belief in God who hears and answers prayer.
This legacy is one I hope to pass on to our kids. We pray with the kids each night and are getting better at remembering to pray at meals - which Isaac loves because we sing "Johnny Apple Seed" as loud as possible and he is so sincere and earnest in this prayer.
I have also started praying for the kids whenever they get an owie or say something hurts. I keep it simple. Isaac says, "My head hurts." I say, "Should Mommy pray for you?" He says, "Yes." I then pray something to the effect of, "Dear Jesus, I pray for Isaac's head that it wouldn't hurt anymore. I pray that You would heal him and he would have a wonderful day. In Jesus' name, Amen."
I keep it simple for a few reasons. One, I am not an eloquent person - I say what I mean or at least try to and usually it comes out sounding pretty, well, simple. Just my nature. Secondly, I want Isaac and Piper to know that they can talk to Jesus whenever, wherever, and they can talk to Him like they talk to a friend or Mommy & Daddy.
The other night, I was not feeling the best - my back among other things really hurt. In the past when Isaac hears that my back hurts he comes over and rubs it till I say it feels better (melt my heart). But the other night when I told him my back hurt, he started to pray for me. It sounded something like this:
"Dear Jesus, asdfkjksdjf Mommy's back aklsdjfkj have good akjdasdjkf better, Jesus name AMEN!"
I have never heard or been as blessed by a prayer in my entire life.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Weekend Update
Ah, I missed you all!
What? You didn't notice my absence for the last 4 days? Oh well, I was gone. So there, now you can miss me!
We had a great weekend. It was nothing super spectacular in terms of any big event or occasion, but it was just a great weekend filled with family time, fun kid things, a date and church. My favorite type of weekend.
Saturday morning Isaac had his first spring swimming lesson class. For the next 6 Saturdays, my little man gets to be a fish for 30 minutes (along with his daddy). This is his second time in the parent-child class because you have to be 3 years old to advance to beginners. I am actually very happy he is getting a 2nd time around with this class because it is a great refresher course for him and I think he will do better in beginners this summer after having taken this class.
Last summer when Piper and I sat on the sidelines to watch and the only thing I had to be concerned about then was keeping her cool (indoor pool is great in the winter - a tad bit hot in the summer). This spring, the girl wanted to go jump in the pool! It was a long 30 minutes of crowd control! This summer I think she will have a blast in swimming lessons, but until then it will be a lesson in self-control every Saturday morning!
I also had a friend over for a kikaPaprika party/showing. It is a clothing line I heard about from my friend in Wisconsin. Ladies, it is some of the cutest clothes I have ever seen! When I first heard, all knit, I had visions of sweatsuits. Yupthanksbutnothanks. But, when Beth (consultant) arrived-oh my goodness, it is some of the cutest stuff and all really really comfortable. The stuff leans towards the spendier side, but not our of line with stuff you would find at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, The Limited, etc. Check it out!
Mark & I also had a date night on Saturday night. It was wonderful. I am learning (FINALLY) that we don't need to have these huge, long, gaze into your eyes discussions every time we go out. I used to get so stressed trying to force conversation that I would miss the joy of just being with my best friend. I would truly rather sit and be silent with Mark than have a conversation with anyone else. So, this date was so nice for me in that I did not spend time thinking about what we should/could talk about, but instead I just enjoyed Mark. I am also proud of the fact that we had supper, went to a movie and had dessert afterwards all for $10! Free dinner (thank you Big Brother, Big Sister), free movie tickets (thank you Mom & Dad), and dessert (yes, dessert was $10!!!).
Sunday we went to church, went grocery shopping, took naps (yes all of us - love it!) and to my nephew's hockey game.
Weekends like this just remind me again of how much I love my family and the life we lead. I love being together doing 'typical' family stuff. I love the fact that in the midst of all these fun things we still can be (unfortunately) cranky, naughty, tired, annoyed, etc. but we are learning to move past those things to just enjoying each other.
What was a highlight of your weekend?
Also, if you have not had a chance to comment on misconceptions, please do so.
What? You didn't notice my absence for the last 4 days? Oh well, I was gone. So there, now you can miss me!
We had a great weekend. It was nothing super spectacular in terms of any big event or occasion, but it was just a great weekend filled with family time, fun kid things, a date and church. My favorite type of weekend.
Saturday morning Isaac had his first spring swimming lesson class. For the next 6 Saturdays, my little man gets to be a fish for 30 minutes (along with his daddy). This is his second time in the parent-child class because you have to be 3 years old to advance to beginners. I am actually very happy he is getting a 2nd time around with this class because it is a great refresher course for him and I think he will do better in beginners this summer after having taken this class.
Last summer when Piper and I sat on the sidelines to watch and the only thing I had to be concerned about then was keeping her cool (indoor pool is great in the winter - a tad bit hot in the summer). This spring, the girl wanted to go jump in the pool! It was a long 30 minutes of crowd control! This summer I think she will have a blast in swimming lessons, but until then it will be a lesson in self-control every Saturday morning!
I also had a friend over for a kikaPaprika party/showing. It is a clothing line I heard about from my friend in Wisconsin. Ladies, it is some of the cutest clothes I have ever seen! When I first heard, all knit, I had visions of sweatsuits. Yupthanksbutnothanks. But, when Beth (consultant) arrived-oh my goodness, it is some of the cutest stuff and all really really comfortable. The stuff leans towards the spendier side, but not our of line with stuff you would find at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, The Limited, etc. Check it out!
Mark & I also had a date night on Saturday night. It was wonderful. I am learning (FINALLY) that we don't need to have these huge, long, gaze into your eyes discussions every time we go out. I used to get so stressed trying to force conversation that I would miss the joy of just being with my best friend. I would truly rather sit and be silent with Mark than have a conversation with anyone else. So, this date was so nice for me in that I did not spend time thinking about what we should/could talk about, but instead I just enjoyed Mark. I am also proud of the fact that we had supper, went to a movie and had dessert afterwards all for $10! Free dinner (thank you Big Brother, Big Sister), free movie tickets (thank you Mom & Dad), and dessert (yes, dessert was $10!!!).
Sunday we went to church, went grocery shopping, took naps (yes all of us - love it!) and to my nephew's hockey game.
Weekends like this just remind me again of how much I love my family and the life we lead. I love being together doing 'typical' family stuff. I love the fact that in the midst of all these fun things we still can be (unfortunately) cranky, naughty, tired, annoyed, etc. but we are learning to move past those things to just enjoying each other.
What was a highlight of your weekend?
Also, if you have not had a chance to comment on misconceptions, please do so.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sun shining, clean car and bloody noses
True story:
I'm at lunch with Mark today.
We go to the gas station to fill up ($3.31/gallon - not cool) and get the van washed because it is sunny and 32 and around here that means no coats, car washes and flip flops (OK, so no to the flip flops with the 400" of snow still everywhere, but you get my point. . . right? Hello?).
Mark is about to get out and fill up the van when he turns to me and says, "You have a bloody nose," and then he gets out of the van.
Ummmmm, okay. . . 1) how did I not notice I had a bloody nose? 2) I love how nonchalant Mark is about this fact. It's like, "Oh hey honey, there is a piece of lint on your shirt and your nose is bleeding, in case you were wondering." 3) My nose was bleeding out of only one side - the side that I have not been able to breathe out of all day - yeahumsurewhynot.
In other breaking news, my daughter decided this morning she needed to bond with her mommy for 1 hour and 30 minutes. . . . . typically, not a big deal. . . but from 4:15 - 5:45 AM I prefer to bond with my pillow and comfy bed.
And finally, tomorrow is Friday, my favorite day of the week. I am wishing for a huge pile of money to get dumped on my doorstep, my 2003 Honda Odyssey to turn into a 2011 Honda Odyssey (yes I am that lame) and that our house will magically have new siding on it. But *if* none of that happens - it will still be a great day!
Happy Thursday!
I'm at lunch with Mark today.
We go to the gas station to fill up ($3.31/gallon - not cool) and get the van washed because it is sunny and 32 and around here that means no coats, car washes and flip flops (OK, so no to the flip flops with the 400" of snow still everywhere, but you get my point. . . right? Hello?).
Mark is about to get out and fill up the van when he turns to me and says, "You have a bloody nose," and then he gets out of the van.
Ummmmm, okay. . . 1) how did I not notice I had a bloody nose? 2) I love how nonchalant Mark is about this fact. It's like, "Oh hey honey, there is a piece of lint on your shirt and your nose is bleeding, in case you were wondering." 3) My nose was bleeding out of only one side - the side that I have not been able to breathe out of all day - yeahumsurewhynot.
In other breaking news, my daughter decided this morning she needed to bond with her mommy for 1 hour and 30 minutes. . . . . typically, not a big deal. . . but from 4:15 - 5:45 AM I prefer to bond with my pillow and comfy bed.
And finally, tomorrow is Friday, my favorite day of the week. I am wishing for a huge pile of money to get dumped on my doorstep, my 2003 Honda Odyssey to turn into a 2011 Honda Odyssey (yes I am that lame) and that our house will magically have new siding on it. But *if* none of that happens - it will still be a great day!
Happy Thursday!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Misconceptions
I was reading a blog I follow (can you tell by now that I love to read blogs?) and it was a great post about friendships and how important they are for women and it gave some great ideas for finding and building new relationships. One thing that struck me though was a comment from another reader about how the workplace is a great place to meet friends and the author of the blog commented back saying yes that's true and how she was thinking more of SAHM who are so isolated. She went on to say that she figured most women who work had lots of friends through the workplace.
I have followed this particular blog long enough to get to know the heart of the author and I know she is a sweetheart with a big heart. I found it interesting though at the misconception she seemed to have about friendships in the workplace and that got me thinking about the misconceptions in general between moms who work outside the home (WM) and moms who work inside the home (SAHM).
Having been in both of these roles in my life I think I have a good handle on the great parts of both and the really difficult parts of both, but I also find myself at times thinking, "Oh those SAHM have it so easy!" And yet I know that is not true, just like it is not true that I have it so easy because I can "drop my kids at daycare and go to work and have wonderful adult conversation, come home, have a delightful evening and joyfully put my kids to bed."
So, I would love to hear responses from WM and SAHM alike. What do you feel are some misconceptions about your role? What is your greatest joy about your choice and what is the most difficult part? I am working on future post (and article) about this subject too, so I may be using some of your ideas for that (I will ask you first and will not use names).
I opened up comments to allow anonymous comments for this post, so if you are more comfortable leaving an anonymous comment, please do! Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you all!
I have followed this particular blog long enough to get to know the heart of the author and I know she is a sweetheart with a big heart. I found it interesting though at the misconception she seemed to have about friendships in the workplace and that got me thinking about the misconceptions in general between moms who work outside the home (WM) and moms who work inside the home (SAHM).
Having been in both of these roles in my life I think I have a good handle on the great parts of both and the really difficult parts of both, but I also find myself at times thinking, "Oh those SAHM have it so easy!" And yet I know that is not true, just like it is not true that I have it so easy because I can "drop my kids at daycare and go to work and have wonderful adult conversation, come home, have a delightful evening and joyfully put my kids to bed."
So, I would love to hear responses from WM and SAHM alike. What do you feel are some misconceptions about your role? What is your greatest joy about your choice and what is the most difficult part? I am working on future post (and article) about this subject too, so I may be using some of your ideas for that (I will ask you first and will not use names).
I opened up comments to allow anonymous comments for this post, so if you are more comfortable leaving an anonymous comment, please do! Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you all!
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