The Rotter

My mom is a helper - it is just in her DNA to serve.  She was over babysitting one night and went through our fridge to clean out the nasty stuff that I forget about (ok let's be honest - I forget about it, remember it, but by that time I am too grossed out to touch it!).  She then organized our fridge (also part of her DNA, organization. . .was I adopted?). 

A few days ago, I went to the grocery store and after my mom's helpful organization I could see what we had and what we needed.  I picked up some green grapes, among other things, since we were out and my kids love grapes like candy.  Actually they love fruit more than candy (praying this phase will last!).

Upon arriving home (there is a point here. . . keep reading!) I started to put the groceries away and just happened to see a little green showing through the bottom drawer of our fridge - you know the Rotter Crisper.  I NEVER use this drawer for the simple fact that I forget it exists and then anything that does get put in here ROTS!  My mom (and the rest of the world apparently) don't have this problem and so logically she put the fruit that we had (grapes and blueberries) in this drawer.  Thankfully I found them before they rotted - we just had a supper of fruit! 

Yesterday when my mom was over, I asked her to not put any food in the Rotter Crisper again as I forget about it.  She said, "Well, it's a clear drawer isn't it?  Don't you see what's in there when you are looking around?" 

The simple answer is "no."  The lengthy answer is "No, but I have no idea why and maybe I should seek help on why looking down in my fridge is such a challenge for me."

You see if food - fruit in particular - is not eye level in front of me, I tend to forget about it.  Since having kids, my outlook on fruit has changed a lot, but before then. . . . well, lets just say that unless we were talking about fruit juice, fruit snacks, fruit loops, etc. the word fruit was not a regular part of my diet.

I like fruit, I really do - just when given the option of something else. . well it took a backseat.  Since having kids and wanting them to grow up healthy and strong, I make fruit a bigger part of our menu.  But, I would buy fruit, stick it in the Rotter Crisper and forget about it.  Even though I knew it was important to the health and well-being of my family. 

So now fruit and any other food that my mind deems less than desirable, but necessary is right in front of me at eye level in the fridge. . . no excuse now!

I got to thinking about this today.  How easy it is to overlook things in life that are good for me and yet maybe do not give me the instant satisfaction or delight that something else might.  Give me the choice between the chips and dip of life or the fruit of life and 9 out of 10 times, I am gonna grab me some chips and dip! Especially if the good (the fruit) is not layed before me on a constant basis, right in front of my eyes.  It is so easy to forget about the benefits of 'fruit':  being patient, finding joy in the mundane, building relationship with God, thinking on things that are good, finding your passion and doing something about it, etc.

I find that I get these great ideas or I feel really motivated to do something, but I so quickly forget about it and instead pick up the 'chips and dip' of:  I am too tired, I am too busy, I am not good enough, I have young kids so I can't, etc.  In the short term, these feel real and like truth.  But in the long run, a steady diet of 'chips and dip' will make me fat, lazy, unhealthy from the inside out.

So, the lesson that I have learned and started to put into practice is to write out goals, lessons, things I want in my life that are ultimately good for me, but maybe are hard at the beginning.  I want to open the fridge of my life and see, "Spend time with God."  "Be intentional with my kids."  "Submit an article to be published."  "Do the dishes every night." 

Since I am a visual person I have decided to write out some of these (and others) and place them on cards around my house.  The bathroom mirror, on the fridge (maybe in the fridge!), in my van, etc. 

What is the fruit in your life?  What are the chips and dip?

My ONE word for 2011

I listen to a Christian radio station KLOVE on the way to work (after dropping kids off since they love the watch this in the van) and at the beginning of January the morning show hosts started talking about choosing ONE word for 2011.  They got the idea from Lysa Terkeurst who for the past few years has asked God for one word to shape/define her year.  Kind of a different take on New Year's resilutions.

I have been pondering doing this myself, but I didn't know what word to choose.  I kept thinking it had to do with something relating to my biggest struggle in life which is fear.  So I kept thinking of all kids of words that are the opposite of fear - peace, hope, strength, etc.  Nothing seemed to fit. 

Then a few days ago, I was listening to KLOVE again and Lisa (morning co-host) was talking about how she was struggling to choose her word for the year.  She continued on to say basically what I had been feeling - trying to 'force' a word so to speak.  She then realized she hadn't asked God specifically what her word should be.  So, one night, laying in bed she did just that and she heard a word impressed on her heart that was completely different than any of the words she had been thinking of - she knew God had now given her a word for 2011.

You may know where this is going - I took this to heart and asked God while driving to work what my word should be.  I love God - for multiple reasons, but His care for me amazes me.  I heard (and when I say heard, for me it was like an impression/thought that popped into my head-not an audible voice) the word DELIGHT. 

Hmmm, now if you will glance up at the title of my blog you will see that word in the title.  I have a bracelet that my mom gave me for my 30th birthday that has the verse from Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." 

I think know that God has been preparing me for this word and this year.  I would have never thought of this word (as obvious as it seems) for my life this year.  I would love to lead a more delightful life, to be more satisfied, joyful, etc.  But I focus so often on the problems and struggles in my life that I forget to look at what God has for me and what He sees in me.

Read the definition of the word DELIGHT: 
-noun
1. a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture:
2. something that gives great pleasure:
-verb (used with object)
3. to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly:
–verb (used without object)
4. to have great pleasure; take pleasure (fol. by in or an infinitive):

I forget that He wants me to delight or take pleasure in Him, He wants for me to delight or give great pleasure, satisfaction, please highly Him.  He desires to delight or give me a high dgree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy in Him and in life.  He promises to give me the desires of my heart when I delight myself in Him-see Psalms 37:4 again. 

To me that means that He won't leave me when I am in trouble or afraid, He won't despise me when I make a mistake.  He will always forgive me when I ask, He will provide for me, protect me, love me.  He will have a plan for me - even bigger and better than I could dream (see Jeremiah 29:11-13).

I don't have any illusions that now life in 2011 will be perfect and without fear - in fact, I may go through more or different struggles this year.  But I want to have a relationship with God that is one of delight and love, not one of fear and measuring up.  I want to know that in the midst of the great times God is my rock and my peace and joy and I want to know in the bad times that God is my rock and my peace and joy.

What journey is God leading you on in 2011?

Potty training, sick kids and life in between

Even after I typed the title to this post, I chuckled to myself. . . what life in between?  When these 2 occasions are happening, life pretty much revolves around the toilet and the doctor.

We started potty training Isaac on Saturday, January 16 after reading a book that our dear daycare provider Mary gave us.  It is called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day and that along with Isaac practically begging to use the toilet all the time worked for us.  We did not follow the book exactly, but it was very helpful!  Isaac had 3 accidents the first weekend and 2 accidents the following week and since then has been a star!  We are so proud of him!  He even stays dry at night.  Although we are now having to work on not letting him get up 6 times/night to pee. . . *sigh*.  But overall I consider it a success.

Piper has been congested for MONTHS and we have just attributed it to common cold, teething, weather, virus, etc.  Her pediatrician agreed - well, finally we had enough and lo and behold before we went in for her 15 month appt. she spiked a fever and her pediatrician said she had a double ear infection and possible sinus infection.  It is so hard to tell in kids. . . becuase they do get snot nosed from a whole lot of things.  We love our pediatrician and appreciate his candor, willingness to listen and manner with our kids.  So, we are on round 2 of antibiotics. . . . first one wasn't strong enough. . . *sigh*.

I know the above information is not super interesting, but I wanted to A) document it B) get past writers block C) brag about my boy ;)!! ha!

Life otherwise has been the same and different.  I feel like I God is drawing me in a new direction-I feel like passions that I once had and thought were dead are coming back to life and passions I never had are coming to the surface.  My desire for God is so strong and I feel a change is coming.  And yet, for the first time ever, I feel a peace and contentment in His timing.  I am not trying to force anything - which if you know me, is a miracle.  I see God's timing and hand on my life of being a wife, a mom, an employee and most importantly, a child of God being prepared.  Does that make sense to anyone but me?  Keep in mind I have not written anything in months! 

I guess ultimately I know that He will guide my steps - I just want to continue to delight myself in Him.  I heard an artist on the radio talking about a recent song say that if you want to build a relationship with God, just do the things you would do to get to know someone in any other relationship in life.  Sounds simple, but what a profound thought-I felt like a lightbulb went off.  Yes, I know, sometimes I am slow.

Well, here's to hoping writer's block is gone - I apologize if this post is random and ambiguous. . . but then again it's my blog. . . .

Happy Wednesday!

Because it's Friday

Because my brain function is at all all time low.

Because I have multiple post ideas that are half done and yet I have neither the energy or brain function (see above) to finish.

This is a list. . . totally random, totally me.

1.  Why oh why must I always get behind the slowest driver in the world when I am in a rush?  Seriously it is like Murphy's Law with a side dish of Christy's Luck.

2.  I never think of myself as a perfectionist.  See my house and you will see this is true. But this morning, upon bringing a chocolate cake with pretty orange frosting to work, I discovered the top had been smashed and some of the frosting had peeled off. . . . and I almost (no joke) threw the whole cake away.  Does this indicate I have a problem?

3.  What is the deal with senior pictures now days?  I have seen some lately (beauty of facebook) where these kids have like 10 outfit changes and their pictures (girls especially) are in like these model/sexy poses. . . . aren't these kids like 17, 18???  Maybe I am jealous -  if you see my senior pictures you would ask how my stomach felt becuase I look slightly sick. 

4.  I love getting coffee from a coffee shop. . .  but here's the kicker.  I enjoy the coffee, but for me it is more of a mental treat.  I love the feel of the cardboard coffee cup, the smell, the comfort and taste that first sip brings. . . . really, is there something wrong with me?  I rarely finish my cup too. . . what a waste I know, but hey that's how I roll.

5.  My kids are the cutest kids ever.  Ever.  Just sayin'.

6.  I have determined that my house will never be clean like I imagine it should.  You know ladies/moms-the "should" picture you have in your mind.  All the toy bins labeled and toys actually in them.  The clothes all hung up nicely in the closets or in their respective labeled dirty clothes bin.  Dishes/food put away in the cabinets with specific, labeled places for everything.  Yes, I know I have a thing about labeling. . .I am sure you are thinking, "hey if I stopped by Christy's house, everything would be labeled".  Well, yeah you thought wrong.  Oh so wrong.

7.  I am starting not to care about number 6.  My kids know that I love them, my hubby knows that I love him.  Now I just need to let myself love myself - in spite of my dirty house.

8.  I would hire a cleaning lady in a heartbeat if we could even come close to affording it.  Seriously, I would give up a lot to have a cleaning lady.  A toe, finger, possibly even a kidney (I have 2 after all).

9.  Maybe I care more about number 6 than I would like to admit.  But I am working on it.

Have a great weekend everyone!  And Dee, are you happy now?????

A day in the life. . .

This is an average day in our house.  Piper up at 6:00 (sometimes she lets us sleep till 6:15!), Mark gets her dressed while I start to get ready.  Mark usually gives Piper a little snack of yogurt and Cheerios.  Isaac gets up at 6:50 (when his little clock turns green) and Mark gets him dressed while I finish getting ready.  Goal is to be out the door around 7:12 so I can be pulling out of the driveway at 7:15. . . some days this happens, most days I am pulling out at 7:20.  After we leave, Mark gets ready in peace.  I drop kids off at daycare (after I have come upstairs, given Isaac at least 3 kisses, 2 hugs and Piper at least 2 kisses and a hug - Isaac 'demands' this) and then speed to work, driving by the coffee shop wishing I had more time and money to stop. 

Then I am at work from 8-5 as is Mark.  Mark picks up the kids and gets home around 5:30.  I get home about 5:15.  We get dinner ready, talk about the day, eat, play, go to park, give kids bath, put Piper to bed at 7:45, Isaac starts bedtime routine at 8:15-he is HOPEFULLY (but rarely) sleeping at 8:45 (more like 9-and yes, I know, we are working on this), maybe occasionally clean the house (and I do mean maybe occasionally) get online for 5 minutes, decide we are pooped and are in bed at 9:30.  The time from 5-9:30 really does seem to go by as fast as this last paragraph-it is crazy.

Why have I just bored you with our day?  Because 5 days a week, this is our day.  Maybe a few variations here or there if we have to go to the store, but all in all-this is our life. 

It is SO easy to complain about the mundane routine of this life. . . but then I read about a fellow blogger at A Cracked Pot or The Real Life of a Red Head and I am reminded that I have so very very much to be thankful for and no reason to complain.

I am healthy, I can play and be active with my kids and husband.  I can cook for them.  I can clean for them (although I don't as often as I should).  My kids are healthy.  The only thing keeping me awake with worry is a cough from Piper's recent cold.  Not too major-just run of the mill stuff.  I am not fearful of my child crashing, needing emergency surgery or dying. 

Mark asks why I read some of the blogs I do.  Yes, some of them are sad, some don't always have 'happy' endings, but all give me a chance to get out of myself, pray for others and I benefit too by being reminded that life is precious and I have so very much to be thankful for.

It is what it is. . . or is it?

I often times find myself wallowing self-pity.  I tend to look at myself and life at times through I Wish glasses. . . . I wish I didn't have my post baby body; I wish I had discipline to eat right & exercise to get rid of my post baby body; I wish I was more organized; I wish I didn't have these weird little red dots at random places on my body; I wish I was a little taller (not sure why, I just do); I wish I could write more; I wish I could sing better;  I think you get my point. . . . .  it seems that no matter what happens, good, bad or wonderful, I still have the thought of I wish ____.

Example:  We have an absolutely wonderful daycare provider for our kids.  Mary is so dedicated to caring for kids.  She has been doing daycare for 23 years-it truly is a calling for her, not just a 'pasttime'.  Mary emails me pictures of the kids a couple times a week and sends me at least one text per day if not many more with pictures included!  She prays for our kids, teaches them life lessons and allows them to just be kids.  I don't know if I could do a better job at what she does (and I really say that in a non-demeaning way towards myself)-she is just so gifted with kids.  Soooooo, today I get a few texts from her and I am quoting them because she is just so funny and unique.

Sonny (her name sometimes for Isaac) pooped in pot.  Piper ate cheese, plum slivers, bits of PNB sandwich.

Tell Mark that Piper made it over that board she took a header on.  This time she caught herself with hands and hand-walked til her legs made it!

So, Piper goes on knees, and 'walks' on them, grinning ear 2 ear. she puts a rigid tool belt on her arm, and twirls it like a hula hoop.  funny baby!

Sleepin now, little butt stickin up. She yawned, rubbed her eyes, and came over for a snuggle after the funny stuff, dear heart. . .

I texted back after this one that it made me teary eyed hearing that.

Me too.  I am blessed.

What is the point of all this you ask?  Why would those texts have anything to do with the I Wish glasses?  I started thinking. . ."I wish I was there to see all of these fun things happening. . . . . I wish I could stay home with our kids. . . . . . . . I wish I was a better mother. . . . ."  See where this leads?????

I was really getting myself down and out and even tearing up about it (yes at work), but then something hit me.  Why can't/don't I look at this day and these events in a positive light?  Why is not my first thought "We are so fortunate to have someone watching the kids that loves them and cares for them. . . . we are so blessed to have Mary who involves us as much as possible in the day to day activities of our kids lives. . . . we have the best daycare provider ever. . . . "

Now that does not mean all pangs of guilt and self-pity and frustration and yes jealousy are gone, but it definitely is getting me out of myself and more to what is important and what is reality. 

I love my kids.  I try to be the best mom I can be to them and yet I know I have and will fail them.  Beating myself up about mothering does nothing.  Learning and loving and seeking God in how to change does everything.

"Be the mom you are, not the mom others say you should be!" -quote from adoptive mother in recent All God's Children International newsletter

Where's Christy?

I am here-just busy.  Seems my intentions to 'blog' every night have fallen by the wayside. . . it is not that I don't think about it.  I really do.  It is just that I am either on my way to bed, in bed, or too dang crabby to post anything I won't regret at a later date!  Yes, I am sure you are all tired of hearing me complain talk about our kids and their lack of sleep and therefore our lack of sleep.  Well, we (Mark & I in case you were confused) turned into mean parents in the last couple weeks. 

The turning point was Isaac waking up 7 times. . . . um, yeah, he is 2. . . .what the heck!?!?!?!?!  And Piper was getting up twice. . . once for a blessed 20 minutes and once for an hour. . . or more. . . not such a blessed time anymore. 

So, we cut Piper off from the bottle gradually by giving her water in it. . . she drank it the first night. . . took a few sips the next and refused it after that.  By day 5 she was sleeping through the night.  We have now had 2 nights of Piper sleeping through the night!!!!!!! 

Isaac, our dear boy.  Well, we had a little talk with him before bed one night and told him if he got out of bed at night, he would get a spanking.  Yes, we went there. . . .we do not use spankings very often as a form of discipline.  We usually do 1 2 3 time out. . . .but, Isaac knows that spankings mean business (usually. . .the other times he just laughs and asks for a spanking. . . and yes, it is just as infuriating as it sounds).  So, to bed he went and when he woke up at 2am, I went in and gave him a light 'reminder' swat and told him to get back in bed and stay there or he would get another spanking (Mark and I had talked that the 1st spanking would be more of a reminder and after that we would be more firm).  Well, something connected in his little brain because he stayed in bed and did not get out until morning.  Whoo Hoo!  He has gone between waking once or twice a night since then, so we still have some work to do, but he is getting better.  He gets excited when he can say he "me sleep through night". . . so we are thinking of creating a rewards chart for sleeping and potty (oh yes, we are there too). 

All in all though Mark and I feel like we are returning to the land of the living. . . the land that doesn't need to go to bed at 9pm in order to get a few hours of sleep before the nightmare of kids waking up all the time!! 

I hope to get back to blogging at least every other night, but we will see.  I have so much to say and hopefully people will want to read it!  If not. . . at least I still get to say it!

One final note:  for those of you who have kids who have slept through the night from 6 weeks (or earlier). . . I am working to not be insanely jealous and somewhat resentful. . . . just kidding. . . kind of. . . :).  For those of you with kids who are like ours who just love us so much they can't bear to be apart for more than 3 hours at a time (yes this is the lie I tell myself when I feel like I stink as a parent in the area of sleep), we feel your pain. . . we know that it gets better and then worse, then a lot better and then so bad that you want to claw your eyes out becuase they burn from lack of sleep.  We are in the battle with you!!