Friday, October 29, 2010

Because it's Friday

Because my brain function is at all all time low.

Because I have multiple post ideas that are half done and yet I have neither the energy or brain function (see above) to finish.

This is a list. . . totally random, totally me.

1.  Why oh why must I always get behind the slowest driver in the world when I am in a rush?  Seriously it is like Murphy's Law with a side dish of Christy's Luck.

2.  I never think of myself as a perfectionist.  See my house and you will see this is true. But this morning, upon bringing a chocolate cake with pretty orange frosting to work, I discovered the top had been smashed and some of the frosting had peeled off. . . . and I almost (no joke) threw the whole cake away.  Does this indicate I have a problem?

3.  What is the deal with senior pictures now days?  I have seen some lately (beauty of facebook) where these kids have like 10 outfit changes and their pictures (girls especially) are in like these model/sexy poses. . . . aren't these kids like 17, 18???  Maybe I am jealous -  if you see my senior pictures you would ask how my stomach felt becuase I look slightly sick. 

4.  I love getting coffee from a coffee shop. . .  but here's the kicker.  I enjoy the coffee, but for me it is more of a mental treat.  I love the feel of the cardboard coffee cup, the smell, the comfort and taste that first sip brings. . . . really, is there something wrong with me?  I rarely finish my cup too. . . what a waste I know, but hey that's how I roll.

5.  My kids are the cutest kids ever.  Ever.  Just sayin'.

6.  I have determined that my house will never be clean like I imagine it should.  You know ladies/moms-the "should" picture you have in your mind.  All the toy bins labeled and toys actually in them.  The clothes all hung up nicely in the closets or in their respective labeled dirty clothes bin.  Dishes/food put away in the cabinets with specific, labeled places for everything.  Yes, I know I have a thing about labeling. . .I am sure you are thinking, "hey if I stopped by Christy's house, everything would be labeled".  Well, yeah you thought wrong.  Oh so wrong.

7.  I am starting not to care about number 6.  My kids know that I love them, my hubby knows that I love him.  Now I just need to let myself love myself - in spite of my dirty house.

8.  I would hire a cleaning lady in a heartbeat if we could even come close to affording it.  Seriously, I would give up a lot to have a cleaning lady.  A toe, finger, possibly even a kidney (I have 2 after all).

9.  Maybe I care more about number 6 than I would like to admit.  But I am working on it.

Have a great weekend everyone!  And Dee, are you happy now?????

Friday, September 24, 2010

A day in the life. . .

This is an average day in our house.  Piper up at 6:00 (sometimes she lets us sleep till 6:15!), Mark gets her dressed while I start to get ready.  Mark usually gives Piper a little snack of yogurt and Cheerios.  Isaac gets up at 6:50 (when his little clock turns green) and Mark gets him dressed while I finish getting ready.  Goal is to be out the door around 7:12 so I can be pulling out of the driveway at 7:15. . . some days this happens, most days I am pulling out at 7:20.  After we leave, Mark gets ready in peace.  I drop kids off at daycare (after I have come upstairs, given Isaac at least 3 kisses, 2 hugs and Piper at least 2 kisses and a hug - Isaac 'demands' this) and then speed to work, driving by the coffee shop wishing I had more time and money to stop. 

Then I am at work from 8-5 as is Mark.  Mark picks up the kids and gets home around 5:30.  I get home about 5:15.  We get dinner ready, talk about the day, eat, play, go to park, give kids bath, put Piper to bed at 7:45, Isaac starts bedtime routine at 8:15-he is HOPEFULLY (but rarely) sleeping at 8:45 (more like 9-and yes, I know, we are working on this), maybe occasionally clean the house (and I do mean maybe occasionally) get online for 5 minutes, decide we are pooped and are in bed at 9:30.  The time from 5-9:30 really does seem to go by as fast as this last paragraph-it is crazy.

Why have I just bored you with our day?  Because 5 days a week, this is our day.  Maybe a few variations here or there if we have to go to the store, but all in all-this is our life. 

It is SO easy to complain about the mundane routine of this life. . . but then I read about a fellow blogger at A Cracked Pot or The Real Life of a Red Head and I am reminded that I have so very very much to be thankful for and no reason to complain.

I am healthy, I can play and be active with my kids and husband.  I can cook for them.  I can clean for them (although I don't as often as I should).  My kids are healthy.  The only thing keeping me awake with worry is a cough from Piper's recent cold.  Not too major-just run of the mill stuff.  I am not fearful of my child crashing, needing emergency surgery or dying. 

Mark asks why I read some of the blogs I do.  Yes, some of them are sad, some don't always have 'happy' endings, but all give me a chance to get out of myself, pray for others and I benefit too by being reminded that life is precious and I have so very much to be thankful for.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It is what it is. . . or is it?

I often times find myself wallowing self-pity.  I tend to look at myself and life at times through I Wish glasses. . . . I wish I didn't have my post baby body; I wish I had discipline to eat right & exercise to get rid of my post baby body; I wish I was more organized; I wish I didn't have these weird little red dots at random places on my body; I wish I was a little taller (not sure why, I just do); I wish I could write more; I wish I could sing better;  I think you get my point. . . . .  it seems that no matter what happens, good, bad or wonderful, I still have the thought of I wish ____.

Example:  We have an absolutely wonderful daycare provider for our kids.  Mary is so dedicated to caring for kids.  She has been doing daycare for 23 years-it truly is a calling for her, not just a 'pasttime'.  Mary emails me pictures of the kids a couple times a week and sends me at least one text per day if not many more with pictures included!  She prays for our kids, teaches them life lessons and allows them to just be kids.  I don't know if I could do a better job at what she does (and I really say that in a non-demeaning way towards myself)-she is just so gifted with kids.  Soooooo, today I get a few texts from her and I am quoting them because she is just so funny and unique.

Sonny (her name sometimes for Isaac) pooped in pot.  Piper ate cheese, plum slivers, bits of PNB sandwich.
Tell Mark that Piper made it over that board she took a header on.  This time she caught herself with hands and hand-walked til her legs made it!
So, Piper goes on knees, and 'walks' on them, grinning ear 2 ear. she puts a rigid tool belt on her arm, and twirls it like a hula hoop.  funny baby!
Sleepin now, little butt stickin up. She yawned, rubbed her eyes, and came over for a snuggle after the funny stuff, dear heart. . .
I texted back after this one that it made me teary eyed hearing that.

Me too.  I am blessed.
What is the point of all this you ask?  Why would those texts have anything to do with the I Wish glasses?  I started thinking. . ."I wish I was there to see all of these fun things happening. . . . . I wish I could stay home with our kids. . . . . . . . I wish I was a better mother. . . . ."  See where this leads?????

I was really getting myself down and out and even tearing up about it (yes at work), but then something hit me.  Why can't/don't I look at this day and these events in a positive light?  Why is not my first thought "We are so fortunate to have someone watching the kids that loves them and cares for them. . . . we are so blessed to have Mary who involves us as much as possible in the day to day activities of our kids lives. . . . we have the best daycare provider ever. . . . "

Now that does not mean all pangs of guilt and self-pity and frustration and yes jealousy are gone, but it definitely is getting me out of myself and more to what is important and what is reality. 

I love my kids.  I try to be the best mom I can be to them and yet I know I have and will fail them.  Beating myself up about mothering does nothing.  Learning and loving and seeking God in how to change does everything.

"Be the mom you are, not the mom others say you should be!" -quote from adoptive mother in recent All God's Children International newsletter

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Where's Christy?

I am here-just busy.  Seems my intentions to 'blog' every night have fallen by the wayside. . . it is not that I don't think about it.  I really do.  It is just that I am either on my way to bed, in bed, or too dang crabby to post anything I won't regret at a later date!  Yes, I am sure you are all tired of hearing me complain talk about our kids and their lack of sleep and therefore our lack of sleep.  Well, we (Mark & I in case you were confused) turned into mean parents in the last couple weeks. 

The turning point was Isaac waking up 7 times. . . . um, yeah, he is 2. . . .what the heck!?!?!?!?!  And Piper was getting up twice. . . once for a blessed 20 minutes and once for an hour. . . or more. . . not such a blessed time anymore. 

So, we cut Piper off from the bottle gradually by giving her water in it. . . she drank it the first night. . . took a few sips the next and refused it after that.  By day 5 she was sleeping through the night.  We have now had 2 nights of Piper sleeping through the night!!!!!!! 

Isaac, our dear boy.  Well, we had a little talk with him before bed one night and told him if he got out of bed at night, he would get a spanking.  Yes, we went there. . . .we do not use spankings very often as a form of discipline.  We usually do 1 2 3 time out. . . .but, Isaac knows that spankings mean business (usually. . .the other times he just laughs and asks for a spanking. . . and yes, it is just as infuriating as it sounds).  So, to bed he went and when he woke up at 2am, I went in and gave him a light 'reminder' swat and told him to get back in bed and stay there or he would get another spanking (Mark and I had talked that the 1st spanking would be more of a reminder and after that we would be more firm).  Well, something connected in his little brain because he stayed in bed and did not get out until morning.  Whoo Hoo!  He has gone between waking once or twice a night since then, so we still have some work to do, but he is getting better.  He gets excited when he can say he "me sleep through night". . . so we are thinking of creating a rewards chart for sleeping and potty (oh yes, we are there too). 

All in all though Mark and I feel like we are returning to the land of the living. . . the land that doesn't need to go to bed at 9pm in order to get a few hours of sleep before the nightmare of kids waking up all the time!! 

I hope to get back to blogging at least every other night, but we will see.  I have so much to say and hopefully people will want to read it!  If not. . . at least I still get to say it!

One final note:  for those of you who have kids who have slept through the night from 6 weeks (or earlier). . . I am working to not be insanely jealous and somewhat resentful. . . . just kidding. . . kind of. . . :).  For those of you with kids who are like ours who just love us so much they can't bear to be apart for more than 3 hours at a time (yes this is the lie I tell myself when I feel like I stink as a parent in the area of sleep), we feel your pain. . . we know that it gets better and then worse, then a lot better and then so bad that you want to claw your eyes out becuase they burn from lack of sleep.  We are in the battle with you!! 

Monday, August 2, 2010

A little of this, a little of that

I don't know what to write about today, but then I realized hey, this is my blog that is for me first and foremost and I love to write, so who cares if I make any sense?

Forgive the randomness of the following entries and they are not in chronological order, but this is what has been on my mind lately.

Thought 1:
I found out that a former co-worker was just diagnosed with terminal cancer-it is in her lungs, liver and brain.  She found out about 3 weeks ago and hospice care has come in to assist her.  She has one son who is in his 20s and a brother, but that is about it for family (that I am aware of).  She is a very independant, strong (to a fault maybe) woman who loves her son.  I cannot imagine finding out one day that you have maybe a couple months to live.  How does your brain process this?  I don't know where she is at in her beliefs, but I get the impression she is not a christian.  I have been specifically praying for the Holy Spirit to move in her heart and if she has not already that she make a comittment to Christ. . . it is never too late.  I think back to when I worked with her and wonder if I missed opportunities to share with her.  But then I think that God loves her more than I could ever imagine and even if I "missed" my chance, it is not I who do the saving.

Thought B:
I have discovered that I am afraid to be alone with our kids.  Wow, hard for me to admit that, but it is true to some degree.  Mark has had some side work going on the last couple weekends and this project and others will keep his weekends tied up for a while.  It dawned on me the other day why I get so uptight before the weekend.  The amount of energy, planning, patience, did I say energy that are needed for me to have this awesome quality time with my kids is overwhelming for me and kind of freaks me out.  I feel like I need to make the time we have on the weekends super fun and meaningful (yes I realize my kids are 2 and 10 months) since I am away from them for 40 hours/week.  It has reminded me of an article I read a long time ago about a divorced dad who every weekend had this big huge outing planned for his kids. . . he wanted their time together to be special and show them that he loved them.  One day after months and months of the zoo, picnics, Chuck E Cheese, horseback riding, movies, carnivals, etc., one child said, "Dad, can we just stay home?"  The father wondered if he did something wrong, if the kids didn't like being with him and so he asked just that.  The child responded, "No we love being with you, but Dad you don't need to entertain us all the time, just be with us."  Lightbulb moment for me. . . . so this weekend, I am just going to go with the flow and just hang out with my kids.

Thought 3:
Isaac started swimming lessons tonight. . . .oh my what a little cutie!  He was so excited and he did so well.  Since he is only 2, Mark was with him and I think Mark had just as much fun as Isaac.  Piper and I watched and sweated to death as it is an indoor pool with 150% humidity.  I stripped off Pipers' bottoms early on and wished I could do the same for me!!!

Isaac and Mark getting ready to go swimming!

Isaac so proud that he was 'standing' in the pool (they have a platform that is in the water so the little kiddies can stand).

I know this is not the greatest picture, but I was trying to catch Isaac's delighted face-Mark's too!  But, my photography skills are lacking, so this picture is what you get instead.

"Seriously Mommy, why am I sweating to death out here when there is a nice refreshing pool 20 feet away?"
(And yes, I gave in and gave her a nuk because she was hot and tired, I was hot and tired and really she is still a baby-so there)

Thought C4:
It is such a joy to watch the kids discover and like new things.  We bought some new tupperware the other day and I took it out of the box and let Piper play with it for a while before I washed and put it away (ok, so it is washed but not put away yet).  You would have thought we bought her FAO Schwartz (I may have mispelled that but you get the point).  She LOVED it. . . . she sat and played with those tupperware containers for a good 15 minutes and would have continued has it not been bedtime and mean mom came over and ruined her fun.  Note to self:  buy kids household items for toys. . . they are much cheaper and they like them so much better!  Christmas list:  plastic serving spoon, check; tupperware, check; toilet paper, check check!

And now a moment to show random pictures of the kids. . . just because I can!

"Mom, don't interrupt. . . we're playing!"

Yes I realize she is wearing the same shirt as the pool picture, but hey I love the shirt!  Look at that smile!!!  Ah-LOVE it!

Much to the delight of his father, Isaac has decided he likes to wear my shoes. . .the ones with heels.

And one final question-does anyone know how to load pictures faster?!?!?  It took me WAY too long to put these pics up.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Quotes. . . oh how I love them

I love quotes. . . .I love the famous ones, the odd ones, the ones that are jokes between friends, movie quotes-I think you get the picture. 

At an old job, I used to have a quote of the week underneath my signature. . . . yeah, I know. . . .call me a dork.

It was my mission each week to find the best quotes to remind myself and others of the fun, good, amazing things in life.  Of course now, I have no time to search for quotes, but when a good one falls in my lap. . . ah, it's like Christmas.

I had a good friend in college who kept a quote book. . .still does to this day and she would write down the things we (her friends) would say.  I mean, the funny, the dumb, the insightful and profound. . .(ok so they were more along the funny/dumb line, but occaisionally we would be intelligent).  It was so fun to look back on what we said and remember the times we had together.

I have also come across some quotes recently that have really made me pause and think about life (I won't get too deep).  I wanted to share two of those.

"Happiness in unpredictable, the key is to be content." 
I think my sister in law Lorrie said this, but I will have to verify.  At first when I read it I thought, hmm, well why can't I want happiness all the time?  But then I got to thinking and it hit me that I am not happy all the time in my life right now. . . I get frustrated at work and the fact that I have to work somedays, I wish for our kids to be older so we could do more things and yet I am sad at how fast they are growing and how much I feel I am missing.  But honestly, I am content. . . really I am.  I know that life is always changing and I am thankful for that fact (which has been a hard lesson for me to learn, but that is another story) and I have realized that there is a time and place for everything and I am able to rest in that and be content.  That quote is a great reminder on the days I feel myself sliding.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
--Washington Irving
A long lost high school friend has this posted on her wall-her younger brother was killed in May in a motorcycle accident.  I have not found a quote in a long time that moves me quite like this one.  I think every single person in life can relate to this.  We have all known pain and tragedy (some far more than others) and we have all experienced love. . . .and at least for me, I have always felt a little ashamed/embarassed by my tears.  I am a crier. . . I have cried at a Cheerios commercial before and I sobbed through my best friend's wedding.  I cry when I am tired or scared and I cry when others cry (it's like a sneeze-very catching).  This quote made me realize there is purpose in my tears.  That purpose is just for me, but it is so healing and cleansing for me to cry (yes even at Cheerios commercials) and now I see powerful too.  So, break out the Kleenex, I am not going to even atttempt to hold back anymore.

What are some of your favorite quotes?

P.S.  Please pray tonight for the moms and dads who have suffered an infant loss and/or infertility.  This is so heavy on my heart lately.  I cannot imagine the pain.  It seems to be a pain that is not acknowledged in the way that it should or could be.  If you know someone personally dealing with this, send them a card or call them to let them know that you care.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

So many thoughts

Life and Death

I have been reading so many blogs lately on people who are struggling with such huge tragedies in their lives. . .infant loss, cancer, premie babies, infertility, sick children. . . . and yet in almost everyone that I have read, God has been given the glory. . . . people are not saying hey I am fine with this circumstance, but they are saying, I hate this, but I love and trust God through it. . .. I think that is overwhelming and powerful and makes my life of little sleep seem downright pathetic.  I pray that I have the grace and faith these ladies have as I walk through the good and bad in life.

The humor, honesty and faith behind each person as they tell their story in their own words is so incredible.  Are they hard to read?  Yes.  Does they make you cry?  Yes.  Do you have a greater appreciation for your kids, your life, your spouse, your health, your God? YES YES YES!  These people have an enormous ministry as they share their journeys of grief, hope, life and death.

I think of my own life. . . . I have truly been blessed beyond measure.  I have a wonderful husband, 2 healthy, beautiful children, a crazy dog, a house, a good job, great family and a God who is gracious and merciful and loves me in spite of me.

One blogger wrote as she watched her 2 week old son struggle to live, (paraphrased) "I would give anything to have sleepless nights, just to be able to hold my son and have him not hurt". . . . wow-that hit me hard since me chief complaint in life lately is that I get so little sleep.  I realized how selfish I can be in my attitude about life and how I think everything revolves around me.  Not a fun thing to admit. . . very humiliating actually.  There are so many people who would give anything to just have a healthy baby at home-who cares about sleep!

So, my resolution is to really cherish the life that I have. . .the good and the bad.  I want to have the faith that I see in those around me who are going through such awful circumstances. . . I want to involve God in my life on a more daily basis. 

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Random thoughts

It has been a while since I have written.  No reason other than our crazy life took over for a while!  We went to the lake with my parents, brother and his boys over the 4th of July weekend and we had a blast!  It still takes me a while to get my brain used to the idea that now with children vacation does not equal relaxation, it means a HECK of a lot more work.  But, that being said, we still had lots of fun (my attitude was a big part of this, I think).

Honestly I would love to post some pics and tell you more about it, but I am so bone tired it is scary.  Parents, do you ever get frustrated by how tired you get just in the course of your everyday life with kids, work, house, etc.?  I hate it!!  I mean, I love spending time with my kids and we make it a priority to spend as much time as we can with them once we get home from work. . . but, whew!  I am tired by the time the kiddos are sleeping I have little to no energy to do much of anything.  I started running last week because looking 4 months pregnant all the time is not a good look. . . . and I am not exaggerating about that.  A guy stopped in my office a few months ago and I had not seen him in a while and he came in and said, "Oh, your expecting another baby?"  I said (as nicely as I could without crying), "Nope, I had her already, she is 5 months old. . . . ."  Of course he felt bad, but um, yeah . . . .I felt worse.  But it still took me another 4 months to really do anything about it other than feel sorry for myself!  I say all that to say, what energy I do have in the evenings I have been trying to devote to running.

I love reading other blogs and it was so fun to day to read what everyone did over the 4th and all the cute ways they decorated their house, food, car, bike, etc.  I read blogs like that and think, "Man, I wish I could be like that. . . all creative and the type to plan ahead and not at the last minute think CRAP I need to bring potato salad so let's run by Hornbacher's and get some on the way to the lake!"  But I am also learning (some days better than others) that I cannot compare myself to others in anyway.  I am a unique person and being myself is hard enough some days without the added pressure to be like everyone else too.  Do other moms ever feel that way?  Do we intentionally try to make ourselves look like supermom when inside we are really just one step away from being 'that lady' that everyone whispers about?  I have yet to hear a mom honestly say that she has 12 loads of laundry to do, dishes overflowing in her sink and toys everywhere in the house.  Oh and dinner. . .it's mac and cheese again. . .for the 3rd time that week.  I am guilty too. . . . I so often try to act like I am a much more put together mom than I actually am.  I am still learning this art of being a parent and some days feel like the learning curve is too high.

One final thought. . . . my 2 year old wipes his mouth off every time I give him a kiss.  I thought that wasn't supposed to happen until grade school?!?!?!?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Wonderful, amazing

So this is the part where I get to brag about my kids.  I completely understand if you want to stop reading right now. 

The last couple weeks, Isaac has just been amazing us with how big and 'grown up' he is getting.  his list of accomplishments are as follows (and again, I understand if you need to stop reading now-parental bragging is usually nauseating to everyone but parents and grandparents):

1)  Starting to speak more regularly in sentences-and not just repeating what we say.  The other day he held up a toy that he has not played with in a long time, but he used to play with it ALL THE TIME and Isaac picked it up and said, "Remember this Mommy, Remember this toy?". . . . um. . . okay, I do remember it, but how do you. . . and where did you learn to talk???

2)  Can hang from just about anything.  This is thanks to Mary (daycare) because she has this wonderful swing set and it has a bar swing (not sure if that is the right term, but I think you get the picture) and he stand on this little chair, grabs the bar and 'jumps' off the chair and hangs/swings. . . .so now at the park the bars are a close second behind swinging!!  Maybe this isn't that amazing to everyone else, but in my minds eye, Isaac is 6 months and still my baby!!

3)  Isaac is starting to sing songs on his own, totally out of the blue.  On any given day at any given moment, he will be singing Jesus Loves Me, Do Your Ears Hang Low, Twinkle Twinkle, and Have Patience - and sometimes they are all mixed together!!  It is the most adorable thing and I am amazed at his ability to remember songs. . . . well, Jesus Loves Me he should know forward and backwards since we have sang (sung?) it to him thousands of times since he was born!!!  But the others. . . wow!!!

Okay, I could continue, but I will stop for now. . . . . oh one more thing, lest you think I have forgotten my sweet daughter.
Her talent is being the cutest little girl ever!!  Look at those lips!!  Her go to expression now is to tuck her lips in. . . . LOVE IT!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Attitude Update

I know, I know, you are thinking, "is it really an update if she just told us about it yesterday?" 

Well, yes it is. 

Here's why.

Has anyone ever had someone stop by unannounced, say just after dinner while trying to do the evening scramble to fit in playing, housework, and bedtime?  And is that someone a someone you don't want to see the disaster your house is because you haven't cleaned up the table after dinner and there are toys everywhere?  Oh and do you have your favorite (albeit ugly) pajama pants on?  Yes, yes and yes. . . . I have. . .tonight. 

Did I make a snide comment to said (actually unsaid) person about using a phone?  No.  Did I shut the door in their face?  No.  Did I invite them in and make polite mature conversation?  YES!!!!

Aren't you proud?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Attitude Check

I guess I have always known that my attitude made a difference, but not until being married and even more so with kids, have I begun to see that my attitude seems to be a huge determining factor in if we are going to have a good day or not. 

This past Saturday, my parents came over to help us get stuff up on the walls - finally!  As I sit here typing it is so nice to look around and see pictures and candles and other fun stuff on the walls instead of just walls.  Any who, back to attitude.  The kids slept awful Friday night. . . . honestly I think they know when we have things planned the next day.  SO, I woke up very tired and bitchy slightly cranky.  This proceeded to go downhill during the course of the morning.  Mark & I made snide remarks back and forth (I'm sure my parents were impressed at our communication skills)  until my husband finally had enough at the lunch table and flat out told me he wasn't talking to me for a while after I made some comment.  I pouted for a while (I'm sure my parents were impressed with my maturity) and then decided that some things weren't going to change.  I was going to be tired all day.  Our kids were going to be with us all day and therefore making getting things done around the house a little more challenging.  So, I could change my attitude.  I actually had this whole conversation in my head. . . .and then I proceeded to pout a little more.  I know, you all are amazed at my maturity.

I finally went into the kitchen, apologized to Mark and we ended up having a great rest of the day.  He offered Saturday night to get up with Piper in the middle of the night. . . .what a dear-I love him so much!

This morning, after almost a full night of sleep (I only had to get up to make the bottle!), I woke up very tired and feeling ready to become bitchy slightly cranky.  But then I had the reminder of yesterday (I think God is so cool how He brings things to our remembrance) and I had to consciously think, "I am always going to feel tired and not be able to do everything I want to do-I have 2 small children".  So I determined in my heart to make this day a good attitude day.

My family responds so quickly to my attitude whether it be good or bad.  I am learning that it is my responsibility as a christian, wife, and mom to have a right attitude in the face of the frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes unfair parts of life.  In the same way it is my responsibility to discipline my kids, make sure they get good food and sleep, work at my relationship with my husband, etc. I have the duty to keep my attitude in check. 

It is a work in progress and I may have to re-read this post 100 times, but I will get there!

By the way, we had a GREAT day as a family. . . .hopefully you all are impressed with my attempts at maturity :)!

At least my kid is picking up on attitude ;)

Note:  The only reason this picture is being posted is because it is the only one Mark took of Piper-I am aware of the way I look.  Brilliantly white with stringy hair. . . . wow.  Focus on the cute baby girl in my lap-it's less painful for everyone involved.

Isaac inspecting the wading pool at our friend's house.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

From 7:30-8:20pm. . .

. . . is our time alone with Isaac.  Piper is usually sleeping by then and so its just me, Mark & Bubba time.  There is something really sweet and special about getting to dedicate some time with just him, our firstborn.  Now I am not saying at all that he is favored or loved more than Piper or any crazy notion like that-so if you are thinking that I will pause so you can close out of this blog. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . okay, back to what I was saying.  Having kids as close together as we did is great in a lot of ways, but I sometimes feel like I (we) miss out on alone time with our kids because of it. 

So, at night we play play doh and/or race track and/or hide under the covers and/or roll a ball off the tape measure (usually all of the above since Isaac's attention span varies) and tonight was especially fun because Isaac wanted to play 'sleep' - so we all climbed in the guest room bed, pulled the covers over us and pretended to sleep.  Isaac thought this was hilarious. . . and Mark & I enjoyed the laying down part. . . it was almost like a mini-vacation!

I have also started to notice when he has more undivided attention he talks in longer sentences and seems to be much more verbal. . . which is hard to imagine since he talks all the time anyways.

A few minutes before Daddy took him back to bed to read books, say prayers, etc., Isaac was sitting in our new $100 chair (another story) and he just looked at me and smiled. . . .then hopped off the chair, walked over and said, "kiss Mommy". . . . .oh how I love this boy.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Why Delighted and Peaceful?

I have been thinking the last few days about the title of my blog and the description of my kids. . . .and being me I have been over thinking it.  Is it a good title, is it a good description of my kids, am I really as scattered as I come across on my blog, and really what is the point of my blog?  Yes, I know. . . over thinking.

So, I thought I would share in both picture and word the answers I have come up with so far.  We went to the lake this weekend to spend time together as a family and with my parents and my brother and his boys.  There were so many fun moments that will forever be hidden away as memories and there were many stressful moments that I am sure I will blog about later. . . and they too will forever be memories.  Life is not only about the fun perfect memories-it is about the mix of the good and the bad and hopefully in the end, there are more good than bad.

Okay, so back to my questions and answers:

Is it a good title?

Looking at this picture, yes I think it is.  No, I am not always feeling delighted and peaceful. . . . some days I can hardly get to sorta happy and not panicked.  But the more I look at my kids and think about the reason I wanted to start a blog, I think I will stick with my title.  It is something for me to strive for to find delight and peace in my life, not only when I look at my kids, but in all areas.

Is this a good description of my kids?

This is Isaac waving to Piper, making her laugh after waking up from his nap in the car.  And yes, he is just sitting there in a t-shirt, diaper, socks and shoes-his shorts got wet at the Mississippi Headwaters.  But this is my son, happy from the moment he wakes up until you try to get him to go to sleep.  He is energetic 100% of the time and always ready to learn something new.  He is a delight in every sense of the word.

This is Piper with her cousin Riley who is 7, soon to be 8.  She sat and played with him (more like him with her) for at least 30 minutes.  She was so content to watch his face and play with a ball and hear him talk to her.  She babbled on and on, the two of them enjoying a nice conversation that only kids can.  She loves being with people and is content to just soak in their presence.  She is content even when active and she has the quickest smile that makes you feel like you are so special to her.  

Do I come across as a scatter brained nut on my posts?

Yes. . . .sometimes, but then again I am scatter brained and a little nutty, so I am just keeping it real!

What is the purpose of my blog?

Need I say anymore?  Well, of course I don't need to, but I will. 

I wanted to start a blog for a number of reasons.  I heard an interview with Kate Goesslin (not sure on spelling and this is not an endorsement for or against her-she has enough issues without me weighing in!) on her new book.  She said she wrote it because she wanted her kids to have something concrete to look back on so they would know what she felt and thought at that point in their lives.  Now, I am not going to turn this into a book, but the idea of the kids having a glimpse of me and our life as a family at this point in our lives appeals to me in so many ways.  I hate my picture being taken (for reasons exhibited in above photo-notice the crazy looking bangs), so I am not in many pictures, but this is a way I can share myself with them.  Make sense?  Oh it doesn't. . . .too bad, it makes sense to me!

Also, writing in my blog gives me the chance to make time for something I have loved to do for a long time but never taken the time to do.  I feel like I owe my reader(s) (I know I always have at least one-Mark!) to post something every day or at least every other. 

So there you have it-even if you didn't want it.  Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my crazy mind. 

Friday, June 18, 2010

Magazine Junkie

I will admit it. . . I love magazines.  If I had all the money in the world I would have subsciptions to People (yes I know its tacky and full of celebrity mumbo jumbo, but really. . .have you ever not read the cover or flipped through it while standing in line at Walmart for 45 minutes because they only have 2 lines open when there are 1000 people in the store-why don't they open, oh I don't know another 5 lines. . . . at least. . . they have 25 registers. . . what for?????  But I digress-sorry.), Redbook, Allure, Real Simple, Rachel Ray, Ladies Home Journal (no I'm not 90. . . but they have really good articles in there), and on and on and on.

Here's my problem though-I am too broke cheap thrifty to spend the $12-$50/year per magazine subscription, but buying them randomly in the store at $5 a shot seems just crazy too. . . . so I live in this in between world of wishing I could be the proud subscriber to numerous publications, but lo and behold, food for the kids, mortgages, cars, clothes, etc. take precedence for now.  Darn it!

Cart Safety 101 (yes I know this is random, but just indulge me):  Do not let your 4/5 year old son lay face down on the bottom of your Walmart shopping cart.  His desire to touch the wheels will not be quenched by you telling him, "now honey don't touch the wheels".  Only the agonizing pinch of wheel will teach that lesson. . . but really is this lesson worth teaching??  And mom/dad, your response to your screaming child of, "well honey I told you not to touch them" makes me want to punch you in the face. . . and then stick your finger in the wheel.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Weekend

Yes, I realize it's not the weekend. . .yet, but in anticipation of a fun Father's Day weekend with my family at the lake I thought I would reflect upon why we live for the weekend.

When I was a teenager I loved the weekends.  It meant no school, no homework (at least not until 10pm on Sunday night).  It meant Friday night plans with friends, Saturday sleeping in and cartoons (yes I loved cartoons even then) and then hanging out with friends.  It was how I thought the other 5 days of the week should be lived.

Once I got married, I still loved the weekends.  It meant no work, sleeping in and getting odds and ends (the fun kind like decorating, not cleaning) done around the house.  It meant Saturday morning breakfast at Perkins and random day trips or just driving around looking at houses we would like to one day buy.  It was Sunday morning church followed my Sunday afternoon naps to Nascar (really there is nothing better to nap too).  It was how I thought the other 5 days of the week should be lived.

When we had kids, I LOVED the weekends.  For the first part of Isaac's life I was a stay at home mom-a job I loved in a lot of ways, but learned was not for me in a lot of ways too (a whole diferent story for another time).  But weekends at that time meant HELP!  It meant that I was not the only one responsible for Isaac and I could actually shower and eat without a little person crying or crawling in my lap demanding attention.  But it also meant fun family bonding time.  It was a great time to watch Mark interact with our son and to begin to build family memories.  Once Piper arrived and I knew I would be returning to work, weekends were less about the help (although I still looked forward to it) and more about spending time together as a family.  I realized even before returning to the working world that I needed to spend quality time with the kids and Mark as the amount of time I had with them would soon be limited.

As the kids get a little older and we are able to do more activites, it seems like the weekends get almost as busy as the work week.  I love activities and being on the go, but I hope we never lose the part about weekends I love the most. . . being able to relax, hang out in pajamas and spend quality time with my family. Oh and dream about sleeping in again. . . someday.  After all, that is how the other 5 days should be lived

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It Worked!

So, after all my frustration with the email subscription thing. . . IT WORKED!!  I am not sure what I did different to finally get it to work, but hey, I am gonna pretend I knew exactly what I was doing. 

Since I am at work, I will keep this super short-and hopefully this will be one of the last maintenance type posts for a while. . . . .

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A lesson in frustration

So I was trying to be all fancy today and I added the little box to the left of your screen where it says you can subscribe to get an email every time I add a new post. . . and I have tried 4 times to get it to work, but alas it is smarter than me.  The box shows up but so far no updates.  Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am ready to throw the computer through a window.  I hate feeling dumb when it comes to technology, but I have no clue what feeds are and if I want to to be a RSS, Owl, Atom, Bob or whatever (ok so I made Bob up).


Okay I am over that for the moment.

Mark & I had an evening out tonight.  Very much needed as we have been a little less than loving towards each other this past week.  Lack of sleep will make you lash out and say the rudest things in the world. . . .I know we hurt the ones we love because they are a safe place but seriously. . . we needed muzzles a few times.

So Grandma and Grandpa came to the rescue and Mark & I had a hot date that consisted of Hobby Lobby (stuff for the kids rooms), Krolls Diner (2 for 1 burger platters including a shake-yummy!) and Barnes & Noble to do my favorite past time. . .READ! 

So funny how kids change so many things, but honestly in regards to what we do on dates, not much has changed.  We have never been the go out to the bars, concerts, night life kind of people.  We have always just really enjoyed being together doing whatever.  I am so glad that this has remained a constant for us.  I think my sister (and others) think I am a bit of a bore in that regard, but we make fun out of whatever we do.  And besides, if we went out for a night on the town it would be an early one because 2 drinks and I am sleeping!!!

What are some favorite date things you like to do?  By the way, I will comment on my own post if no one else does!!!  And keep it PG rated. . . .my kids will read this someday!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Cleaning Christy

Cleaning Christy stopped by for a visit today. . . . CC as I will call her from now on is my split personality that comes out on whenever the house needs cleaning. 

I have the amazing ability of going from a relatively normal, pleasant, some would even say kind person to this obsessed, b***hy, crabby woman Mark has "affectionatley" termed Cleaning Christy.

She would like me to share her thoughts on her behavior-and for the record I am not saying she is right or normal or anything. . . I am just letting you see CC's side of the story.

A little history about how CC came into existence:

I hate to clean-with a passion.  Remember those lists you would make about what would you do if you won the lottery or made a million dollars?  My list always had a cleaning lady on it. . . . I would pass up new cars, massages, clothes, etc. to have a cleaning lady.

Have I mentioned that we have 2 kids. . . . and a dog. . . and my husband & I both work full time outside the home.  And we have moved 3 times since August 2009. . . .

So our house looks like this:

Did you really think I would post a picture of what our house looks like right now??????  I am all for being open and honest, but seriously you must be crazy to think I would be THAT open and honest.  Just know that my house looks nothing like any magazine cover, HGTV design star, Martha Stewart, you name it show. 

It looks lived in. . . . as in 4 college guys lived in who have a thing for legos, trucks and coloring books.

So anyway back to CC stopping by for a visit.  I wanted to get the house a little picked up for our babysitter that was coming over at noon today. . . . and we got home from church at 10:45.  Enough said, right? 

In CC's defense, it is just hard to even remotely know where to begin when all she sees is toys everywhere with no place to go.  Bare walls from having "just" moved in 2 months ago.  A kitchen full of dirty dishes and an odd assortment of toys, paperwork and candy on the counter that can't seem to find a home anywhere else.  Clothes (clean though) everywhere since we lack closet space and the time to organize a better solution. 

CC just gets so frustrated because when do you find time to 'keep house' when you work 40 hours/week and then you get home and want to spend time with your kids because you only get to see them for 3 hours/day?  Once they are in bed, all CC has energy for is a shower (maybe) and then off to bed because CC knows one of her beloved kids will be up sooner than later and for who knows how long (see previous post). . . so she need what sleep I can get. 

CC has no time/energy to settle in and yet is tired of living like this move is temporary (and its not, I vow to not move again for at least 5 years). . . . . and frankly, so am I.

So, Cleaning Christy came for a visit today.  She is gone now but until I win the lottery or have kids who sleep through the night (and the odds are about even on either one), I am sure she will be back.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Sleep. . . remind me what that is again?

I have always needed sleep. . . maybe more than the average bear, but really, if I don't get a decent 7-8 hours of sleep on a regular basis my emotions, body, mind, etc. goes on a very fast downward spiral resulting in crying, headaches, not remembering what day of the week it is. . . you get the idea. 

I knew this prior to having kids.  But somewhere in my mind I figured that after the first couple weeks (oh how little I knew) my kid(s) would sleep for 10 straight hours every night, peacefully in their own beds. 




Isaac, being our beloved first born, has a very strong personality.  He is a super happy kid, but also very observant and curious about the world (read: has to be a part of everything).  From the moment he was born he has not liked sleep.  I know a lot of you ( all 1 of you that read this blog) are thinking I am exaggerating, but honestly at the hospital the nurses would bring him to me in the middle of the night every 1 1/2 hours to eat.  Cluster feeding they called it. . .little did they know that this would be a pattern for him for the next month.  Then we were fortunate enough to have Isaac sleep for. . .  3 hours at a time.  Ahh. . . and I would hear friends talking about their little brats angels sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, etc. 

I held on to the hope that at the magical 4 month mark Isaac would sleep through the night like our pediatrican said some high percentage (I heard majority) of kids do.  I will give you one guess as to if Isaac slept through the night by that time. . . .


I could bore you with the 24 months of sleep and lack thereof and every method in the world that we have tried, but I will leave you with this.

Isaac sleeps through the night about once a week. . . he's 2. . . .

Oh and did I mention I have an 8 month old. . . who doesn't sleep through the night either. . . but she only gets up once to eat. . . so she's ok. . . for now.

Sleep, where art thou???

Friday, June 11, 2010

In the beginning

Since this blog is dedicated to my babies and my hubby too (since without him there would be no babies), I thought I would post some pictures from the first few days of their lives.  Not the gross ones that shouldn't even be taken, much less shared, but the sweet ones where the little babes sleep all the time - you know the moment before they start to sleep when you want them to be awake and then they are awake when you want them to sleep.  Oh the joys . . . .  but in all honesty it is hard to remember back to when they were this little and it was not that long ago. . . they are still 'little'.

Okay, so ignore how bad I look and look at little Bubba. . . so sweet!  This is our first picture together and probably one of only a handful since mommy doesn't like getting her picture taken!
And this is Bubba showing that even from an early age, all he wants is peace (note the fingers if you don't get my attempt at a joke).

Isaac Piper laying so peacefully. . . looking exactly like her brother.  At this point I think I was still in shock that we now had 2 babies under the age of 2. . . 16 1/2 months apart to be exact!

Here she is all ready to go home-thankfully we got to leave the hospital a lot sooner than we did with Bubba-there is only so much you can take on a tiny room, uncomfortable bed and nurses to help with everything. . . okay so the last part I could have used more of, but you get my point. . .I think.

Here is my crew a few weeks after Piper was born. . . . you will have to excuse Mark's tired expression-that's just how we look from then until they turn 18 and move out. . . I hope (for both-to not look tired and that they move out!).

Fast forward. . . here they are now!  Bubba is 2 and Pipsqueak is 8 months. . . . my how time flies.  Before you know it I will be posting their high school graduations!