Home Alone. . . .AHHH!

For the first time since I have had kids, I will have 24 hours alone. . . no spouse, no kids. . . .just me. 

Mark is going on his annual ice fishing trip with a good friend and so Friday night and part of Saturday it will just be me and the kids (take a moment and pray for our sanity).  Then Grandma and Grandpa come to the rescue get the kids and I have Saturday night and part of Sunday alone!

The thought is somewhat overwhelming actually as I am not quite sure what to do with myself anymore when it's just me.

Is that sad?  Or normal?

I am looking forward to the time though - I think I get so used to constantly having people around that I have forgotten the joy of alone time and how therapeutic  it can be.

So, I am trying to think of ideas of what to do.  I know I will go to the library and get a good book (yes, I am a nerd who loves to read) and I plan to rent at least one chick flick, but after that. . . . . my temptation is I should spend the time being productive and finish some projects I have at home, like:

1)  Actually have all out clothes put away in appropriate closets and dressers, instead of hanging in the laundry room and folded on the bed in the guest room.  Yes, it's sad and annoying and I still have yet to motivate myself to change it.

2)  Hang up pictures in our bedroom - bare walls drive me nuts and yet since we moved in we have gotten no further (or is it farther?) than bring the pictures into the bedroom and setting them on the floor.

3)  Pack up all the kids clothes that are too small and bring to Once Upon a Child or thrift store. 

4)  Scrub tub.  (okay in all honesty, I highly highly doubt I will run out of enough things to do that this would be at the top of my list. . . .but seriously it needs to be cleaned!!)

5)  Go through all the kids toys and pack up toys they no longer use or that are missing pieces and throw or bring to thrift store.

6)  Go grocery shopping for food that makes sense to have on hand so I can make an actual meal that makes sense instead of having hot dogs, PB & J, and grapes for supper.  Seriously.

7)  Paint our downstairs bathroom.  It is neon blue - ya, not kidding.  I am sure the people who lived there before us were wonderful people, but seriously enough with the blue.  Six rooms in our house were blue when we moved in.  There are now only 4 1/2 that are blue (I know, we have a lot of work to do), but this neon shade of blue has got to be the next to go.

8)  Decide on color for downstairs bathroom.  Okay, so perhaps this item on the list should be before painting, but I think we all know that by this point on the list. . . I am not getting any of this stuff done this weekend!

If you have ideas of things I should do this weekend or if you just want to live vicariously through me (as I do through people who go on vacations with or without kids, or who no longer have to change any diapers - ever), feel free to let me know!

Happy Tuesday!

I'm so excited. . . and I just can't hide it. . . . I know, I know, I know. . .

. . . if you are still reading after that horribly annoying title I am either. . .

. . .honored that you deem my writing so magnificent that you choose to ignore the frequent occasional rare moments of immaturity. . . . 

OR

. . .convinced you are a die hard Pointer Sisters (or 80's music in general) fan and figure I must be super cool to know that song!

Right?  Right?  Hello?

{crickets}

Anywho. . .moving on.  I really am excited today.  For some reasons I won't share yet (and yes I hate when people do that too) and for other reasons I will.

I am excited that today is Friday, my favorite day of the week.

I am excited that I am going out with Mark, my parents, and brother tonight to a movie and then appetizers.  NO KIDS!

I am excited that it is sunny and 30 degrees - I went out at lunch today with just my jean jacket (a cute, trendy one not an 80's one. . . so hush) on. . . and of course pants and shoes - sheesh!. . . I'm not that kind of girl!

I am excited that my baby girl is done with antibiotics and so *hopefully* this means diarrhea and diaper rash will cease.

I am excited that even though I have a headache for the 9th (or is it 10th. . . who knows) day in a row, they are not lasting all day every day. . .it's the little things, you know?

And lastly, I am excited that I live a wonderful life (I hope you read that in the most sincere, non-cheesy way possible).  I do not have a perfect life and some days (or weeks) are just plain yucky.  But I have an amazing husband, two great kids, great parents, siblings, church, etc. and I just can't complain about any of it!  At least not today! ;)

Have a wonderful Friday!

How do you decide?

I truly am asking this in a hypothetical, but not rhetorical manner.  We are not contemplating any major life changing decisions right now. . . unless you count what color the downstairs bathroom should be and how on earth to teach our son to not whine for everything. . . .

How do you make the big decisions in your life?  The ones like. . .

. . .what career should I choose,
. . .should I switch careers,
. . .should we have kids,
. . .should we have more kids,
. . .should we buy this house or that house,
. . .should we move to this city or stay where we are at,
. . .do I stay home with the kids or go back to working outside the home? . . .
. . .and all the others that I can't think of but I am sure we all encounter throughout life.

Do you pray, seek counsel from friends, family, go with your gut?  Does it take you months or days. . . or hours to decide?  Do you find you and your spouse (if you have one) typically agree or is there usually a compromise?  Do you feel good after making a big decision or do you have 'buyers remorse'?

I am curious. . . . and I love to hear from you . . . . . . . . .all 4 of you ;)!

Delighted. . . ummmm. . . working on it!

So, I have been feeling bad about my last post and how negative and whiny it was.  Yes, it is an honest portrayal of how I have felt recently, but there was no hope, no even in this I will overcome. . . so I will now see the positives.

I am thankful that my headaches are just that - headaches.  They are not a brain tumor, cancer, or any other life threatening disease.

I am thankful for the miracle of medicine and doctors (medical and chiropractic) and the options that are out there for pain management.

I am thankful that I know the Great Physician and that healing comes from Him. . . in whatever form he chooses.

So, I will choose to delight myself in Him. . . . in spite of my circumstances.

Oh, and my meds finally kicked in again so I am pain free - amazing how that helps perspective too!

Feeling fuzzy

I have a headache. . . sounds pretty tame, normal, take some Advil and call it good, right?  Well, this headache is going on day 7. . . . Advil is no longer my friend after taking 4 every 4 hours for a week. 

So I went to the doctor, added new daily med (on top of the one I already take) and got a prescription for drugs to take for pain. 

Went to pharmacy to fill pain med prescription only to find out they no longer make that medicine.  Of course this is after 5pm and so the clinic is now closed.  Wait till next morning, go to clinic only to find out my doctor is in Grand Forks today and no other doctor feels comfortable prescribing something else. . . . which in a normal state of mind I understand. . . but I was not in a normal state of mind.  I was in the Hello-I-Have-Not-Been-Pain-Free-In-6-Days. . . . .and oh my kid didn't sleep worth crap last night, so give me some freaking drugs!!!!! 

Alas, Mark & I called pharmacies in the area and found one that had 20 pills left (which will get me thru about 4 days)- I felt like a crack addict when I told the pharmacist to please hold them for me, I would be right over. 

And so I took pain meds. . . and they helped. . . for a little bit.  Until Mr. Headache came back laughing and taunting me. . . . SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I am waiting for doctor's office to call back so I can see if there is a new magic pill out there for me to try.

I am usually pretty good about dealing with my constant headaches, but every once in a while, I get plain sick of them. . . . and today is one of those days.

Okay, enough whining. . . I think my 2 year old is rubbing off on me.  He has taken the art of whining to a whole new level.  Seriously, if whining was an Olympic sport, Isaac would be a gold medalist.  His whining in the morning while rushing around to get ready and out the door. . . wow, if it wasn't so irritating and obnoxious, I would almost be proud of how tenacious he is and his stamina to whine about the same thing for so long.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

The Rotter

My mom is a helper - it is just in her DNA to serve.  She was over babysitting one night and went through our fridge to clean out the nasty stuff that I forget about (ok let's be honest - I forget about it, remember it, but by that time I am too grossed out to touch it!).  She then organized our fridge (also part of her DNA, organization. . .was I adopted?). 

A few days ago, I went to the grocery store and after my mom's helpful organization I could see what we had and what we needed.  I picked up some green grapes, among other things, since we were out and my kids love grapes like candy.  Actually they love fruit more than candy (praying this phase will last!).

Upon arriving home (there is a point here. . . keep reading!) I started to put the groceries away and just happened to see a little green showing through the bottom drawer of our fridge - you know the Rotter Crisper.  I NEVER use this drawer for the simple fact that I forget it exists and then anything that does get put in here ROTS!  My mom (and the rest of the world apparently) don't have this problem and so logically she put the fruit that we had (grapes and blueberries) in this drawer.  Thankfully I found them before they rotted - we just had a supper of fruit! 

Yesterday when my mom was over, I asked her to not put any food in the Rotter Crisper again as I forget about it.  She said, "Well, it's a clear drawer isn't it?  Don't you see what's in there when you are looking around?" 

The simple answer is "no."  The lengthy answer is "No, but I have no idea why and maybe I should seek help on why looking down in my fridge is such a challenge for me."

You see if food - fruit in particular - is not eye level in front of me, I tend to forget about it.  Since having kids, my outlook on fruit has changed a lot, but before then. . . . well, lets just say that unless we were talking about fruit juice, fruit snacks, fruit loops, etc. the word fruit was not a regular part of my diet.

I like fruit, I really do - just when given the option of something else. . well it took a backseat.  Since having kids and wanting them to grow up healthy and strong, I make fruit a bigger part of our menu.  But, I would buy fruit, stick it in the Rotter Crisper and forget about it.  Even though I knew it was important to the health and well-being of my family. 

So now fruit and any other food that my mind deems less than desirable, but necessary is right in front of me at eye level in the fridge. . . no excuse now!

I got to thinking about this today.  How easy it is to overlook things in life that are good for me and yet maybe do not give me the instant satisfaction or delight that something else might.  Give me the choice between the chips and dip of life or the fruit of life and 9 out of 10 times, I am gonna grab me some chips and dip! Especially if the good (the fruit) is not layed before me on a constant basis, right in front of my eyes.  It is so easy to forget about the benefits of 'fruit':  being patient, finding joy in the mundane, building relationship with God, thinking on things that are good, finding your passion and doing something about it, etc.

I find that I get these great ideas or I feel really motivated to do something, but I so quickly forget about it and instead pick up the 'chips and dip' of:  I am too tired, I am too busy, I am not good enough, I have young kids so I can't, etc.  In the short term, these feel real and like truth.  But in the long run, a steady diet of 'chips and dip' will make me fat, lazy, unhealthy from the inside out.

So, the lesson that I have learned and started to put into practice is to write out goals, lessons, things I want in my life that are ultimately good for me, but maybe are hard at the beginning.  I want to open the fridge of my life and see, "Spend time with God."  "Be intentional with my kids."  "Submit an article to be published."  "Do the dishes every night." 

Since I am a visual person I have decided to write out some of these (and others) and place them on cards around my house.  The bathroom mirror, on the fridge (maybe in the fridge!), in my van, etc. 

What is the fruit in your life?  What are the chips and dip?

My ONE word for 2011

I listen to a Christian radio station KLOVE on the way to work (after dropping kids off since they love the watch this in the van) and at the beginning of January the morning show hosts started talking about choosing ONE word for 2011.  They got the idea from Lysa Terkeurst who for the past few years has asked God for one word to shape/define her year.  Kind of a different take on New Year's resilutions.

I have been pondering doing this myself, but I didn't know what word to choose.  I kept thinking it had to do with something relating to my biggest struggle in life which is fear.  So I kept thinking of all kids of words that are the opposite of fear - peace, hope, strength, etc.  Nothing seemed to fit. 

Then a few days ago, I was listening to KLOVE again and Lisa (morning co-host) was talking about how she was struggling to choose her word for the year.  She continued on to say basically what I had been feeling - trying to 'force' a word so to speak.  She then realized she hadn't asked God specifically what her word should be.  So, one night, laying in bed she did just that and she heard a word impressed on her heart that was completely different than any of the words she had been thinking of - she knew God had now given her a word for 2011.

You may know where this is going - I took this to heart and asked God while driving to work what my word should be.  I love God - for multiple reasons, but His care for me amazes me.  I heard (and when I say heard, for me it was like an impression/thought that popped into my head-not an audible voice) the word DELIGHT. 

Hmmm, now if you will glance up at the title of my blog you will see that word in the title.  I have a bracelet that my mom gave me for my 30th birthday that has the verse from Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." 

I think know that God has been preparing me for this word and this year.  I would have never thought of this word (as obvious as it seems) for my life this year.  I would love to lead a more delightful life, to be more satisfied, joyful, etc.  But I focus so often on the problems and struggles in my life that I forget to look at what God has for me and what He sees in me.

Read the definition of the word DELIGHT: 
-noun
1. a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture:
2. something that gives great pleasure:
-verb (used with object)
3. to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly:
–verb (used without object)
4. to have great pleasure; take pleasure (fol. by in or an infinitive):

I forget that He wants me to delight or take pleasure in Him, He wants for me to delight or give great pleasure, satisfaction, please highly Him.  He desires to delight or give me a high dgree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy in Him and in life.  He promises to give me the desires of my heart when I delight myself in Him-see Psalms 37:4 again. 

To me that means that He won't leave me when I am in trouble or afraid, He won't despise me when I make a mistake.  He will always forgive me when I ask, He will provide for me, protect me, love me.  He will have a plan for me - even bigger and better than I could dream (see Jeremiah 29:11-13).

I don't have any illusions that now life in 2011 will be perfect and without fear - in fact, I may go through more or different struggles this year.  But I want to have a relationship with God that is one of delight and love, not one of fear and measuring up.  I want to know that in the midst of the great times God is my rock and my peace and joy and I want to know in the bad times that God is my rock and my peace and joy.

What journey is God leading you on in 2011?