Thursday, February 24, 2011

Off again

I am having a very off day today.  I just feel antsy and like I am just waiting on something, anything different to happen in my life.  I feel like I am wasting time.  Mind you I still have no idea what I want different or what I should be doing.

I am also just plain old tired, exhausted actually. I hate feeling this constant blanket of tiredness these last few weeks.  There is only so much caffeine can do these days.  And besides I really do not like being dependant on artificial means to have energy.  I know that I need to start exercising in some form or fashion.  I hear time and time again from so many that it helps.  Mark has started working out every night after the kids are in bed and I am so proud of him!  I also feel somewhat guilty as I crawl in bed when he goes out to exercise.  But, not guilty enough to do anything about it. 

I see the sun shining out my office window and it makes me craze spring and summer and lazy days with the kids at the park and the lake.  But it also makes me wish for more time to do those things I want.  Why can I not be content today?  Why is finding delight so difficult today? 

I tell myself that this is normal and that these are the minor downs of the ups and downs of life.  One thing I am really encouraged about is Mark & I have started praying specifically for direction in a certain area of our lives. 

Married people out there - I challenge you to pray with your spouse every night.  It does not need to be a big, long, super spiritual prayer. 
It can be, "Thank you Jesus for this day, keep the kids safe and healthy, help us have a good day tomorrow.  Amen." 
Seriously, most of my prayers when we first started a few months back were like that.  But the act of praying together, of listening to each other, and having that connection is so cool. 

But anyway, back to Mark & I praying together.  It has given me so much more peace knowing that we are together asking God for direction.  I am reminded again that God is God and He desires to be a part of every area of my life and our life as a family.

Okay-deep breath.  I feel somewhat better.  Thanks for letting me ramble and I am looking forward to being on again soon!


jess said...

You're right Christy! He does want every part of our lives even it it seems like a little simple prayer... Glad you are both finding peace in that. "Where two or three are gathered together, there I am in the midst of them." Thanks for the encouraging comments. It's always fun to "meet" new friends out there. Now I know about you and your blog too! I'll be reading and getting to know you better. :)

Christy said...

Thanks for stopping by, Jess! It is amazing - in all the years I have been a Christian, it seems I am learning something new all the time. So amazing to have the reassurance that God is there with me through all my ups/downs, questions, lack of faith, etc. HE is still faithful.